Crappy day

 Today sucks.  It has been a crappy suck ass day.

I got woke up by Grannie because Brandy felt the need to call her and have her wake me up.  Yay!  Brandy is pissed because I didn’t turn on my ringer.  Oh fucking well.  I wanted to sleep.  She meant well.  She just wanted me to get up and go to Financial Aid.  I get that, but I was tired.  I get up and get ready.  Grannie says we are going to go take care of my ticket today too.  Okay, I can do that.

We head to Balch Springs and go to their little court thingy.  It’s a window in a hallway.  Mighty impressive there.  It cost sixty bucks to take care of the ticket.  I waited too long, so either I can pay the sixty and put it on my record or go to court next week and try and get the judge to feel sorry for me.  Most likely she would say whooptie shit and add court costs to the total.  Grannie was pissed off at me while she wrote the check.  She was all in “I told you so” mode.  I can deal with that.  At least they won’t be coming to pick my ass up for a warrant.

After the fun of the court house, we went up to school to talk to financial aid.  They are saying that I have taken too many hours and should have my degree now, so I likely won’t get any more grants.  I don’t know if that means I can’t have work study or a loan.  Beth said I should be able to get a loan, but I have no idea.  I think I have to go up there again.  I really hate them.  They don’t give you straight answers on shit.  I hope that I can get something.  If I don’t, I think I’ll have to go back to What-a-Burger hell and try to make money there.  I don’t fucking know.  I’ve bawled twice over this shit today.  I just need one more semester.  Just five more classes.  That’s all.  Ugg.

And now, I came upstairs to get on the computer and talk to William.  I pick up my phone to call him and he had already sent me a text.  He doesn’t feel good and went to bed.  Great.  I’m sorry you don’t feel good.  Really I am, but I want to whine to you and tell you about the bullshit I’ve put up with today.  I want you to be my shoulder to cry on, because Damnit, this shit is making me cry.  Its making me scream.  And I want you to tell me that everything will be fine.  I want you to tell me I’ll make a wonderful doctor, but that I need to calm down and have a little patience with these people.  I want him to tell me that.  I don’t want to have to sit here and rationalize it all out for myself.  I want the man that is supposed to keep me at an even keel to do it for me.

Writing this out was supposed to make me feel better.  I just miss him more right now.  Stupid fucking feelings.

Y’all take care,

Mandy

Ovarian cancer: It whispers, so listen.