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Well I don’t feel better today. My chest is full of crap, my head is full of crap, and there is crap falling out of the wholes in my body. Bet you all really wanted to know that. Oh and to top it off I started. YAY!!! This sucks. Why must it be piled up at once?

Baby Doll turned seven months today. YAY!!!! She is getting way to big. I didn’t think this time would go by so fast. It felt like I was pregnant forever, how can she be growing so much?

Ugg. I am soo tired. Its almost two. We went to bed at nine because somebody was a grippey butt and then we got up at midnight because someone was playing with Mommy’s nose. Now she is following Jesse back and forth from the living room into the dining room. Its crazy how fast she is. WoooHooo!!! She is getting whiney. Maybe we will get to go back to bed soon. Such a strange thing to have your life dictated by an infant.

Jesse is driving me nuts. He says he is petting her, but he is hitting her. He’s not hurting her, but all the same, I am about to bust his ass. I can’t get him to understand that she’s not a toy. He picks her up and carriers her like a rag doll. Her little legs swing back and forth and she giggles all the while Mommy is having a heart attack.

What else? Oh, Joseph and I got into a shoving match the other night. I was so pissed at him for not helping me with the house and the kids and all the other bullshit I deal with everyday. I had never felt hate for him until he pushed me back, but he was trying to keep me from hurting him. I started the whole thing. It was his fault for being an asshole all day, but I shouldn’t have pushed him. Yes, I am aware that it was stupid. I don’t want to hear it. We are past it now. I have to learn to control my rage. I am afraid I am turning into my mother.

Damnit. I am sleepy. Y’all have a good night…umm that should be day I guess.

Y’all take care and hug those babies tight.

Mandy

p.s

Beth, call me today. I know you have something to do with Cody, but I can’t remember what right this second. I want to know about your Mom. I’m sending lots of hugs and prayers to you.©