12/10/07

I’m better now.  Much better.  I hate being all weepy and whiney.  I hate admitting that hormones get to me, but its pretty fucking ovbious.  I only write psychotic, freaky ass entries when I’m ragging.  I’m aware that I’m pathetic.

Brandy and I had a long talk yesterday.  I still don’t like Daniel.  He will eventually take Brandy away from me, this I am very sure.

I must be insane.  I see people as belonging to me.  I become incredibly jealous when they aren’t with me.  I don’t want to be the center of attention, I just want them with me.  I know I can protect the people I love.  If they aren’t in my sight, then how can I take care of them?  Its the same with Shellie and Jessica.  I hate that Jessica is leaving in May to be with Ezra.  I know they are in love, but she will be in Virgina for God sakes.  That’s forever away.  And Shellie.  When Shellie was a baby, she was my baby.  I fed her and changed her and she was mine.

I’m sure there is something wrong with me.  I can’t explain it right.  I know that I love them and they love me in return, but if they leave, will they still love me?  Will I still be important?

God, its almost narsasistic.

Y’all take care,

Mandy

Ovarian cancer: It whispers, so listen.