With a capital dfkghdkfghekng

i want to run

run run run

until my breathing is labored

until my heart is thundering in my chest

like its trying escape

until my body’s so exhausted

that it goes numb.

i want to run run run

run away from this

run away from all the bad

but there’s so few good

i want to go start over new

somewhere else

not here, not in this life

id go right now

id run

run run

if there wasnt the ice

that makes me slip and fall

id run

run run run run.

****

i dont know what happened to emily today

my parents met with victor

and kate’s stupid counselor.

they want a stupid family meeting

fuck them

i wont participate

ill ignore them

spend an hour staring off into space.

suddenly i want january 2nd to come

cuz id be like

"fuck you"

and sit there

for an hour

im not talking

i dont like it

not one bit

i quit

i quit. i quit, i quit.

i should’ve never started counseling anyway.

whatever.

***
im waiting for him to get online

he’s the only one that could brighten up my day.

i wish i was spending time with him right now.

jesus.

i pray he wont screw me in the end;

because then ill have nothing.

*******

he said, "Yes, you can have a hug if you dont kill me. Hell, you can have a hug whenever you want."

And you know, I think i’d like that hug right now.

**<3**