whispering to no one

and as i whisper those words
into the darkness;
they’re swallowed up whole
and only the quiet will follow.
this emptiness fills my head
and my heart is squeezing so tight
those words-
i could never whisper to you.
id give anything
to make you understand.
light spilling on the pillow
as i wake up and breathe so deep
the sobs marred my lungs
and my head is quietly drumming.
my words are still stuck in the air
and you aren’t even here to hear them..
the best thing that ever happened to me
and i can’t even get the damn words right
or near your ear;
those impossible words,
"i’m sorry."