livelihood

I’ve been obsessed with Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons for the last couple weeks. I don’t know why. It’s just catchy.

The New Year swept in with Dustin’s arms locked around me, and then we opened a bottle of bubbly, sour champagne and only drank half. We talked about our resolutions, some serious, some silly. I want to conquer my finances and he wants to revamp his health. Neither of us want to be parents. And he has plans that he won’t divulge to me yet.

I was a tiny ball of joy when it sunk in that, yes, it’s really 2014. I waited so long.

We kicked off the New Year with a trip to the gym, and i forced myself to run on a treadmill despite my fear of tripping over my own feet and soaring headfirst into a wall. It settled my thoughts and soothed my feelings, as it always has, and I kick myself for not keeping up with it in the last year. It brings calm to my high-strung and I need that.

It’s Fuck-You cold outside, the high for the day only climbing to -17, and naturally worse with the wind. Our pipes have frozen or something — there’s no running water and it’s pretty unfortunate timing.

I am still thinking about my tattoo but maybe I should wait until tax season. Not because I couldn’t make it work with the money I have, but because this year is about financial stability, and I don’t want to wreck it with my incorrigible impulses.

I don’t want to wreck my livelihood though. I am uniquely me. I am star-bright eyes, sweeping impulses, two left feet, and determination.

I am a lot of things and I want to sprinkle fertilizer on the tiny sprouts, coax them to blossom. My green thumb is lacking but, as I said, my determination never is.

I may be obstinate, but sometimes it works out.

Love