Friday

Less than enjoyable.

I need to draw the line somewhere.

My nerves are shot; I’m stretched thin and worn out.
Tired of being outside my comfort zone.

My work schedule is changing, but in my favor.
Now people will be begging me to go to the bar.
I haven’t had a drink in over a month because I just don’t care.
I understand this state’s culture, but right now I want nothing to do with it.

I don’t want to socialize even slightly.

I quit smoking over a week ago.
It’s difficult and easy, both because I’m so busy.

I have the weekend off but why can’t I say no to people?
Boundaries, I need them.
I can’t fulfill everyone’s expectations.

And why the fuck is Brandon in my dreams lately?
It irritates me to no end. I haven’t thought of him in a very long time.
And Colin will be the emotionally-unavailable ex I am stuck standing next to all night tonight.
 

I’m just frustrated. Worn out. 
And I feel stupid, and like a failure.
Like I can’t do anything right and I always make bad decisions.

Think positive……
 

I haven’t even been going to the gym. Don’t have the time or the energy.
I’m just making excuses.

I need to stop thinking now.