Bury it

I find it hard sometimes to keep everything inside, where I think it belongs. The things Dan did to me still lurk in my unconcious, and seem to emerge frequently when I am smashed. Partly because one of my good friends had the exact same thing happen to her. I don’t know what to do or think anymore about it. It hurts and churns and I am swallowed in a pool of self-loathing, knowing I did nothing to fight him off. Nothing. My compassion and understanding clouded my reasoning and self-protection. I never want to be the victim again. I am sick to my stomach.
<3 Amanda