As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars

Day Zero Project

So I totally gave in to my inner 8-year-old today and downloaded Jon Lajoie, Rucka Rucka Ali, and even Jenna Marbles’ "Bounce That Dick" (what? it has a catchy beat!). I was ridiculously excited about it too, anxious to get off to work so I could play it all on my iPod. Which reminds me that I really need to invest in a new iPod. Too bad, it will have to take the back burner for now.

Not much new to report, though. Just waiting, waiting and breathing.

I am quitting smoking again. Don’t cheer for me yet, though. I need to make it past two days. And then I need to make it past six weeks. For it to count. Obviously I write a lot about quitting and then when it comes down to the actual quitting, I give up quickly and painlessly. I am determined that this will be it…but then I’ve written those words like 800 times. So only time will tell.

So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go,
’cause everything ain’t what i used to know.
I try to hide, but I just can’t hide no more;
nothing’s worse than feeling like a ghost.

Not really sure why I’m writing, or what I have to write about. Maybe the words will come easier later this week. Until then, I have two days off in a row (a fucking miracle), so I’m just going to enjoy them and ride the tide.

Peace. Sensuality.

Those words are things I want to embody. And I will.

Love,
Amanda

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration,
and let it go.

Let it go.