A Word on the Path of Least Resistance.

Day Zero Project

Accounting can go fuck a post.

I am hopeless. Truly. I am such a mind changer….choosing 4 different majors and 3 different schools within 2 years. Looking for the path of least resistance. And I was always told that this was a BAD thing. And yes, to a point, it is. But let me say something.

I believe this: If you have to force something, it isn’t worth it. I’ve always been a big believer in flowing naturally. And since I started telling naysayers to fuck off and just started doing my own thing — floating toward things that come naturally — I’ve been so much …happier. Peaceful.

Because for as long as I can remember, I’ve had some asshat telling me that I need to challenge myself. That the path of least resistance is for losers. Why? Because society tells us that you aren’t successful unless you have conquered this, that, and the next thing. You’re supposed to overcome a bunch of challenges and then stand at the end, with a smug, self-satisfied look on your face, and chirp about how awesome you are. And then other people clap you on the back.

And I have a lot of respect for that, contrary to my mocking description. It does take a certain amount of character to stomp out competition, prove that you are better than others. To rise above and beyond yourself to achieve greatness.

But I ask you….at what cost?

How fleeting is that sense of self-accomplishment? I know that for me, in the blink of an eye, it’s gone. The winning-induced high wears off fairly quickly, leaving a bone-deep weariness in its wake. Because you gave all you had. You worked so hard….too hard. You’re burned out. And then you’ve just barely let that sense of weariness fade away and some new asshat is up in your face, telling you to conquer something else.

Well fuck that.

I believe that we should strive to be better than what we are….but not at that breakneck pace. And not for an extended period of time. Don’t many people say that we should take notice of the present, not the past….nor the FUTURE?

I believe, through all of this garbled thought, that what I’m trying to get at is: major events/aspects of your life should not be subject to this "overcome everything & dominate" type of thinking. I’m talking things like family life, career, relationships (romantic or platonic)…..things like that. Enduring aspects of one’s life should be treated with my thinking : go with the natural flow.

For example, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to put up with a relationship. I’m not saying that a relationship should always be easy, or that you’ll never feel overwhelmed or a little angry, but overall, it should be pretty smooth sailing. Opposites may attract, but if you ask me, a relationship works out a lot better if you are more similar than different.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that Accounting was a decision made out of desperation. Desperation to be done with the taxing institution of college. Desperation to move to the next phase of my life. I’m an old soul and thus always ahead of myself, trying to get my physical world to catch up with my emotional/mental world.

Accounting is a little difficult for me, and I feel like I am trying to force it because it pays decently and there are definitely jobs there. But I would hate my fucking life….for forever. Sitting at a desk all day long, crunching numbers, being held responsible on several levels for errors I make. No thank you.

I have an idea for a change in the works….we will see how I feel about it in another couple of days. I’m trying not to make a rash decision. I have to consider my motivations (like fear), despite this entry of pretty words.

Take the moral with you: challenging yourself is OK from time to time, but the overall feel of your life should be natural, effortless, peaceful.

Just know that there should be balance. Don’t always take the path of least resistance…..but don’t always push yourself to be greater than this moment.

Love,
Amanda

 

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October 16, 2012

I think you are using this train of thought to mask your lack of direction. Because I agree with you; its so important to play to your strengths, but its also just as important to challenge yourself. Not necessarily by taking on a major that is too hard for you, but just a little bit. You are lacking direction, and you need to find it, and quickly. 🙂 There is only now, there is only this. But what excites you? I dont mean to sound harsh, but I KNOW you have so much potential and you are so capable of so many things. I love you. You can do it <3

October 16, 2012

Some of us have been lucky in that our passions do challenge us, and simply by following what drives us, people give us credit. I’m afraid that doesn’t work out for everyone. But for what it’s worth, when you do find what you love to do, and when you can make a living doing it, you’ll never work another day in your life.