2013

Day will be breaking soon, and the sharp chill in the air places excitement in my lungs.

New Years Eve.

I’ve been waiting all year for this. To be in this beautiful place, made of both shadow and light. To be able to fully embrace all that the world has to offer me.

2013 was a pile of Suck. It was my Year of Suffering. It was Hell on Earth.
January was arrogance. February was confusion. March was the sharp pain. April was the culmination. May was the redemption. June was the sweetness.
I am still learning. And part of me wants to focus on all the negativity this year had to offer. The suffering. The pain. The endless tears and heartache. But I shed that skin.

I am a strong, beautiful, whole person. I am not perfect, but I am better. And I love who I am and what I will become. In time I will be able to love who I was, mistakes and flaws and all.

There are still times when I want to forget my lessons. When I want to ignore my three virtues: patience, courage, and gratitude. When I want to forget my humility and embrace pride. When I want to forget emotions and hide behind a wall of numbness. I will go as far to say that in the last few months, I have partially done that. But I am fighting it. I will not forget. But I will not relive.

I am ready for 2014.

I am anxiously waiting with my door unlocked.
 

I hope it bursts in like a ray of sunshine.