Looking forward to a positive future.

Yesterday was a complete shit show. It seems that one of our teammates, T, had a negative energy attached to her and caused her to start a group text saying a bunch of shit about me. That why haven’t I gotten to the root of my issues yet (it’s literally been two holiday weeks that I started talking to me therapist), they are tired of walking on eggshells, these new “rules” are ridiculous and causing this whole uproar. My husband defended me the entire time, saying it’s literally been a few days. No one is going to get to  the root of any issue that quickly. She’s trying and doing the exercises her therapist has requested. It literally caused so much drama that people are wanting to leave the team. Sadly, one of those people is my best friend. She’s been through a shit ton in her life and doesn’t want or need the drama and negativity of other people. I don’t blame her at all. She and I talked this morning. We are ok. We know that there will be hard times again, but we also know we will get through them.

As far as T & C, they agreed that the three of us would have a group chat and try to smooth things over. That has yet to be done. Maybe at some point today.

I just got done with an exercise my therapist recommended, which was to write down the names of the people I have negative feelings toward and what those feeling are. After that, burn it. Essentially burning those feeling away with it. I’m going to do it again though, maybe tomorrow. It’s crappy outside today, so I did it inside the laundry room over the sink. I was more focused on not burning the house down and the smell of the smoke more that I was of the actual reason behind what and why I was burning this paper to begin with.

It really sucks to know that all of this frustration is caused bc if my issues. That is I was “normal” none of this would be happening. I guess in the end though, everything happens for a reason. Hopefully that reason is to make us stronger, both as a team and as individuals.

I’m so ready for all of this to be in the past and get back to the happy family we once were. Big things are coming our way and I’d really hate something, especially my malfunctions, to ruin that.