Today Was The Day!

This morning at 10:00 AM the court had scheduled a case conference on my divorce.  I filed all the paperwork on May 21st, motion to convert the divorce from a 1B (contested) to a 1A (joint request), joint petition for divorce, affidavit of irretrievable breakdown, divorce decree, seperation agreement and a motion and order I drafted asking the judge for him to have Brian’s civil lawyer sign 1/3 of any further settlements over to me directly and not give them all to Brian.  I explained if all the funds were given to Brian I would not see the 1/3 we agreed to in the seperation agreement and because he now lives in Florida it would be virtually impossible for me enforce his contempt.  I sent all of that via certified mailing but had not received the green card back.  Nervously I went to the post office website and checked the tracking number and nothing came up.  So going in I was a wee bit nervous the court hadn’t received those documents.  No need to be, turned out they had them on file.  The Clerk asked me if Brian was there, I said no.  She asked me if he was coming, I said no.  I had thought they’d give me another date because he wasn’t there.  But?  No.  She asked me to handwrite a motion to waive his appearance.  So I did.

Judge called my name and I walked to the front shaking like a leaf, I could barely see I was shaking so bad.  Courts make me nervous.  The Clerk swore me in…the judge then said, "No need to be so nervous Mrs. Keegan, you’re not going to jail."  I laughed a little and said, "I know Judge, courts just make me nervous."  He looked over the paperwork and asked me where Brian was.  I said, "He said he couldn’t appear."  He then said to me, "I am allowing your motion to convert this from a 1B to a 1A."  I said, "Thank you your honor."  He then asked me if I read and signed the seperation agreement and understood it?"  I said, "Yes your honor, I drafted it myself."  He said, "I see that Brian signed it as well as all of the other paperwork."  He asked me if that was my financial statement and whether I had divulged all assets and liabilities.  I said it was and I did.  He asked if I had sent a copy of it to Brian.  I said yes.  He asked me if I had reviewed Brian’s financial statement and whether I believed it contained all of his assets and liabilities.  I looked at him and said, "I hope so…*shrugged my shoulders*".  He then got to my motion and said, "Mrs. Keegan, why are you filing this motion?"  I said, "Your honor, as per the seperation agreement, Brian received close to $100k in settlements which I was not a party too, he took all of those assets to Florida with him and as you can see from his financial statement?  He’s almost broke now.  I want to protect my rights as to any further marital assets and this is the only way I know how to do so."  When I said that both the Judge and the Clerk looked up at me in surprise.  He said, "Mrs. Keegan, who drafted this motion?"  I replied, "I did your honor but I had a probate attorney review it to make sure it was okay and I was told it was." The Judge then said, "Mrs. Keegan, I worked as a civil judge for many years and I do not understand why your signature was not required on releases for the WC and SSI settlements since you were married, that’s par for the course, you should have also been a party to the 3rd party action."  I said, "Yes your honor, I worked in the insurance business for a great many years and now work in the law, and that is my understanding too.  I cannot tell you why I was not consulted or included on settlements thus far, nor can I explain why I am not automatically included as a party to the 3rd party action either."  He said, "Mrs. Keegan I am going to allow your motion but I will not sign the Order.  Allowing the motion is sufficient enough."  Then he declared me basically divorced.  He said to send the allowed motion to Brian’s attorney with a copy of the seperation agreement and he wished me luck!  So in about 120-days?  I am officially divorced.

I was shocked!  Literally shocked.  I thought for sure since Brian didn’t show up a new date would be given when we’d both need to appear.  However, re-reading the case conference notice it does state if one party does not show … the judge can decide this way.

Our mutual friend, who has a background in psychiatry called me 2-weeks ago frightened after talking to Brian.  Evidently Brian made some threats to Ted which made Ted believe I was in physical danger.  Ted said to me he was very frightened by Brian and he was scared for me personally.  He cautioned me NOT to speak to Brian anymore and to please NOT see Brian.  He said Brian is not making any sense at all, he’s violent in his thought patterns and he’s blaming me for everything!  He told Ted I stole all of his money, I tossed him aside when he got sick, he blames me for all of his illnesses, blames me for him being broke, and the real stinger was? He told Ted I killed our dog (Miko)!  Ted said Brian is bordering on pyschotic the way he is thinking/talking and Ted’s worried he’s one foot over the ledge already.  Ted further said he doesn’t even recognize Brian anymore.  Ted was sad actually, because Ted loved Brian like a brother.  I said to Ted, "Well, now you see the Brian I’ve been seeing for quite some time Ted.  Brian is NOT the same man anymore and I do not recognize a person I’ve known for 22-years!  I’ve been trying to help him, but I see now?  I cannot and now?  I cannot jeopardize my own safety or health anymore.  Told Ted I’ve not been sleeping worried over him, overeating again…I’m physically and mentally exhausted all trying to help him get his life in order.  But I cannot do this anymore.  I also said, if he says one threatening thing to me?  I am going straight to the police department and asking for a restraining order against him.  Not that that really protects me if he really wants to harm me, hopefully it will not have to come to that.

That was, no that IS it for me.  The final low blow was saying I killed Miko.  I suffered horribly trying to keep Miko alive and it killed me to make the final decision after he had a massive seizure and a stroke to have to put him to sleep.  I hate Brian for that thinking.  I know I cannot help Brian anymore and now I have to fear for my own safety.  I’ve not been answering my cell phone, he wont’ call the housebecause he knows Chris is there and he knows also that Chris works for the Sheriff’s office.  However, when I don’t?  Brian calls my work knowing full well I have to answer those lines. He called me last week and basically informed me he has or has access to a gun now.  Lovely.  He started arguing with me and I merely said calmly, "Brian, I do not want to argue with you.  I hope you’re feeling better really soon…good bye…" and I hung up.  He hasn’t tried to contacting me since then.

I have decided NOT to call Brian about today.  He will receive notice by mail in 30-days from the court.  I have no obligation to Brian anymore and that’s the way I have decided to keep things.  Ted’s words of caution, combined with the way Brian’s thinking has deteriorated and his inability to take responsibility for all of this?  And the mention of a gun now?  Has me worried.  I thought he’d show up today and I kept having dreams he would…and he shot me outside the courtroom.  Hopefully now I can rest easy — at least until August when I know he’s going to be back here for appointments concerning his 3rd party case.  Chris gave me police strength pepper spray which I now carry on me at all times.

Hopefully?  This all goes quietly away now.  I do fear once he receives the paperwork indicating the divorce was issued?  He’s going to go completely over the edge. 

One day at a time…