Hello, It’s me.

In my head, currently, is me singing Adele’s song, “Hello”. Yes, this is how my head really works. Inside there are like 15 tabs open and running and behind in the background there is always music playing. Like a soundtrack to my life and I can’t remember a time when this wasn’t so. Sometimes I make my own versions of songs up to fit the situation going on. 👀

On the topic of music, I cannot get enough or say enough good things about the absolute masterpiece video by Childish Gambino This is America.  Every time you see it you notice a different scene or picture or move, combined with the simply lyrics really creates a very poignant, true, sad and sickening reality in a way that hasn’t been done before. If this doesn’t win ever danged music and video award — I give up on the industry then. 🤗

So, there’s that. Sometimes one of the tabs I have open inside my brain is one where I have intellectual conversations with myself about current events or social issues — then I get really depressed because I know nothing will change and I see the world around us getting worse. Then it’s time to change the tab. 😵

Today I stepped outside of myself and met someone I’ve talked to for quite a long time now but have never met in person. Meant to a few times but something (me) got in the way. We met really close to where I am now and we had dinner and a couple of drinks. It was really nice and I enjoyed myself and hope we have dinner again. I’d love to have a male friend to hang and do things with. We’ll see. 🌼

I do not want any type of romantic relationship because I do not want to heap my baggage onto anyone else, medical or otherwise. I am certain of that; frankly, it has been so long since I’ve had sex I am a little, well, scared of opening myself that way to anyone else again and I am not sure I can any way. I, well, ya know, tried a little something last night and nothing. First time since my heart attack – it was awhile pre-heart attack too. 😕

I guess I will end this entry right there with that random confession. 😶