Anxiety

There are days I just don’t feel like myself. I do think I’m changing day by day and getting along with all my new friends, who honestly feel more like family to me at this point than family. But somedays it all feels so distant. The conversations I have. The things I do. The way I act. The way everyone acts. I feel so disconnected from them. It’s the same with my thoughts. I don’t really know how I’m feeling. I just feel like I’m not supposed to be here. Like I’m not really living. It’s what I’ve been feeling. How I’ve always been feeling. Emptiness. Sometimes a memory will resurface from the past and tug my heartstrings a little. Like when you get feelings from watching a show or reading a book learning about a complete stranger’s life experiences. It feels like I’m not fully there. I can’t even articulate how I’m feeling at times like this. I don’t know how to act, nor what I should do. I’ll try to act normal when I feel like this but my heart just feels so jumbled up. The passing of days, the changing of people, shifts of logical evaluations, I just feel like I’ve been caught in between. And I don’t really know who I am.