Why is there nothing here? Who are you Meghan?

Dear Readers;

This entry is the only entry in this chapter. Consider it an introduction to who I basically am. If by chance you’ve decided to go back and read into my past, I’m afraid you’ll have no luck unless you’re on my favourites list. There are about 1200 entries from ’03 -’07 that have been made completely favourites only because I feel that it’s best. Save for this entry, the 2008 chapter holds the only public entries.

Here’s what I can tell you about myself:

I started this diary in 2003 after a friend told me that I could keep a journal online. Originally, I had planned to keep it pretty simple and use it as a means to comunicate with family and friends who weren’t near. It quickly turned into something much more, and I decided not to give out the address of the website to my family, and I kept it to a few close friends.

In 2002, I was in my first year of College. I lived in residence on the school campus and I dealt with a lot of things.  In 2002, I was sexually assulted in my room on campus. It put my school year in jeopardy and forced me to take another half year, ending my school year at Christmas time in 2004. I attempted suicide in 2002 and started counselling to work out some problems.

In 2003, I moved into an apartment with someone who ended up causing me much pain and grief. We were almost evicted from the apartment and eventually, I ended up living on my own.

In 2006, I began working at my current job- a group home for troubled, teenage girls. I work an overnight shift on the weekends and I’m looking to find a way out.

More about me:

I am a proud, Canadian female. I’m bisexual. I am an aspiring photographer. I am single. I do not specify a religion. I try to be as honest as I can. I sometimes fail. I am overweight. I am tattooed and pierced. I have animals. I one set of grandparents still living, and one set who have passed on. I have one brother, Matthew. I currently live at home with my parents, and no, I’m not ashamed of that. I paint. I create. I sing. I don’t dance. I pay my bills on time and I am responsible with my money. That being said, I know when to treat myself and I won’t apologise for buying expensive items, like my ipod. I deserve respect. I give respect. I try to admit when I’m wrong, though sometimes I can be stubborn. I am indecisive. I am a procrastinator. I mean well. I play games when I can. I’m silly and childish sometimes, and I like that about myself. I hate insects and spiders. Squableknorfingbubblemuncher. My room is a complete mess, but everything else (like my car) is 100% organized and spotless. I smell food before I eat it sometimes to make sure it’s not spoiled. I will not eat anything that’s near it’s expiry date. I can’t use tuperware more than once or twice because it holds the smell of the food that was in it before. I have a slight tendency to be obsessive/ compulsive. I like Clay Aiken. I watch youtube videos whenever I can get access. My favourite book is the dictionary. I love to shop for clothes and underwear/bras. I have bouts of insomnia. I talk to myself a lot and I pretend I’m talking to other people, who aren’t really there. I’m very, very shy and quiet. Some people think that I’m socially retarded. I hate the word "retarded". I try to sneak in words that I’ve made up, or words that make no sense when I think no one is paying attention. I have two cousins that I haven’t seen in over 11 years because they refuse to see us. I believe that one day I’ll get married and have children, but at this point, it seems unlikely. I have a guitar that I can not play. Yet. I kick ass at Super Mario Kart. I enjoy word puzzles. I watch a lot of t.v. I wear glasses sometimes. I have two retainers behind my upper and lower front teeth. I like to write rhymes, but I have to be in a certain mood to do it. I enjoy making people happy. I know how to make people angry. I have a selective memory. If I feel in my heart that I’m right, I’ll try my absolute hardest to prove it. I collect elephants.