update

♥ Haven’t been here in a while, I know. 

My life sucks. My job is ridiculous and is eating away at my soul. Ottawa is making me a cynical bitch. Ed’s wife is pregnant (yes, you read that right)  and I am destined to be a single, pathetic loser for the rest of my life.

Credit card company finally got a hold of me. Must pay $400 by next Friday. I have $120 in my account and a payment for my insurance coming out tomorrow for $185. Also a phone bill for $125 to pay still…. It frustrates me that I work my ass off — almost 40 hours a week at above minimum wage and I can’t afford to even get to work to earn that money. I don’t understand how there are people who can afford houses and kids and cars and still have money for groceries and other necessities. I don’t pay rent and I couldn’t afford toilet paper to wipe my ass if I needed it.

Ed. Fuck. I found out yesterday via some snooping on facebook that his wife is expecting another baby. I am HEARTBROKEN. Things with Ed have been pretty decent for the past month or so (after the anniversary crap) and then I find out that he’s been keeping this secret. I’m devastated. The last we talked about her, he said that they were "cool" but that things would never be the same between them and she would never come around and that they hadn’t slept together since Christmas. Well.. LIES. fucking son of a bitch. I can’t even begin to explain the hurt in my heart right now. And I swear to God the first person who says anything about how I should have known or it was my own fault for loving a married man or anything along those lines gets blocked. I do NOT want to hear that right now. The fact is, i fell in love with someone and he broke my fucking heart.