Trippin’

Last night I was on a total trip when I came across and article that reached me on a whole new level. I knew I had this problem before, but for the first time I was reading it put into words that I never seemed to be able to express before. The article in question, which is from Elite Daily, is about things people who can’t express their feelings want you to know. Click here for article.

It led me down a rabbit hole of thoughts to be honest. I have great difficulty being able to speak my thoughts and feelings, despite having very deep ones. When I’m face to face with someone and they ask me directly what’s wrong or what I’m thinking, I clam up. I can’t find the words. I sometimes just cry and despite having a millions things I WANT to say, my mouth can’t say them.

Last year I went to my nurse practitioner clinic to speak with a counsellor, which was a waste of an hour because once I got in there, my mouth decided it wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t express a thing and I’m sure this guy wondered what the hell I was doing there. I decided last night that I need to go back again, but this time armed with notes and writing that I can read out to him- because for some reason I am able to write my thoughts way better than I can speak them. If I go in prepared with what I need to say written out, perhaps I’ll actually get somewhere.