This year

 Dear Diary;

I’ve really dropped the ball this year, haven’t I? I really haven’t been around here very much and when I am, my entries are anything but interesting. I’m sorry about that. I could make excuses, but to be honest, I just haven’t felt like coming here to share anything. I suck at noting so you wouldn’t know it- but I do still come to read everyone’s entries.

The past little while has been an internal struggle for me. I feel like I might actually be headed somewhere for once that’s not right back to where I started. I feel like I’m finally being let out of a circle or spiral.. you know what a spiral looks like? I feel like the past few years have been me trying to get from the center of the spiral to the outside (that makes a lot more sense in my head…). I’ve spent a lot of time in the past trying to figure out who I was- and I still don’t know, but I feel like I’m a lot closer now. I’m at that point where I’m not really caring what other people are thinking of me or wanting me to be, I’m just focusing on myself and who I want me to be. I’m realizing that I was already once a me that I really liked a lot- and all I have to do is get back to that. I guess that’s a good thing.

Anyway..

I’m on Christmas holidays. Today was my last day of work for a week or two, so I plan to enjoy every second of it because I know it’s going to go by fast. I have a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow because we’re having our big family Christmas dinner here on Saturday. I’ve been taking care of mom for the past week because she can’t really do a lot with her hand. I washed her sheets (and mine!) today so they smell nice for Christmas.

My new car is running pretty good. I went to Ottawa on Tuesday night to meet up with some Davern girls and go sledding and it got dirty from all the traffic, so I might take it to the car wash and then take a picture of it on Christmas. I’ve named is marshmallow.

I think I’m going to head to bed now. 11pm is like my new cut off point now. I can’t keep my eyes open past that point. Goodnight, and Merry Christmas to you all if I don’t get back around here.