This day is shit.

 Dear Diary;

I am feeling completely overwhelmed and upset and stressed out and anything else that goes along those lines right now.

Today was the last day of camp.

I spent the day driving around all over the fucking place to get stuff done for the staff banquet, which was tonight. I had to get photocopies (like, 700 of them) and finish the slide show and pack up the wellness center and finish evals and so on and so forth. It was incredibly stressful and frustrating because everything seemed to be going wrong for me all day.

In the end, I finished the photocopies (almost got charged $488 for them but managed to talk her down to $80) and put together the slide show (at the last minute- they started banquet without me) and then was able to enjoy about 20 minutes of banquet before people started leaving early.

I’m extremely frustrated with my boss lately. She’s a good person and I like her as a friend, but as a boss- she’s sucky.

I’m upset tonight because I was supposed to go into town with everyone from Resource and go out to 80’s night. They talked about the plan all week and I had to pull so many god damned strings just so I could go and not be left out AGAIN. I almost cried on the phone with my mom today when I was discussing the fact that I have no car to drive back and forth with. Eventually, she worked something out and let me take her car. Turns out though, I didn’t really need it- cause here I am sitting at home writing in here instead of going out with the rest of them.

Why? Because everyone is stressed out and they’re overwhelmed as much as I am probably. I had arranged to stay with Emily tonight, but by the time everyone was leaving (which was like 10pm.. and it’s an hour and a half drive to Ottawa) Emily was crying because she was stressed out about not getting an Evaluation from Dodie (our boss. And I didn’t get mine either) and Liz didn’t know who she was riding with to the city and yadda yadda.. We all ended up leaving not knowing what the fuck was going on and they kept saying "We’ll text you and let you know what’s happening.. everyone keep in touch and let’s figure this out". Well, I didn’t get one text and ended up just driving home- cause really, what the hell else am I supposed to do??? Drive to Ottawa and then find out that everyone is too tired to go out? Fuck that. With my luck, it’s what would have happened. And of course, this being the day of shit- as soon as I got settled in at home (I woke mom up by accident) I got a text saying that they were, in fact, all going out.

FUCK.
 

I really feel like the odd one out. I never go out with them, but I see the pictures and I hear the stories. I don’t think they realize how damn inconvenient it is for me to live so far away. They can all just call each other and take a cab 10 minutes to each others houses, but I can’t just pick up and leave and drive a couple of hours whenever they want to go out. It sucks.

Anyway, I’m super pissed off and frustrated and whatever.

I was supposed to work at the outdoor center after Davern, but I guess that’s not happening either. I’m back to being unemployed.

Fuck my life.