I have to vent.

Dear Diary;

I can’t believe this is happening.

This is last Christmas all over again- only worse.

She messages me one day out of the blue and says "I’m moving home for good!". I don’t get overly excited, since moving to Calgary she’s made many promises that she hasn’t kept. (I’m only going to be there for 2 months… I’m coming home at Christmas for good… I’m moving home in the spring… I’m moving home in July.. I’m moving home in September..). She asks me when a good time for me is because SHE wants me to go to Calgary before she moves home and SHE wants me to fly back with her because she’s a nervous flyer. I tell her I’m good for September.

She calls me one day and says- "I did it, I booked my flight home!!"

She tells me she booked it for the 23rd of August. My heart drops and I tell her that I can’t go because Beckie’s wedding is that day and I already promised her I’d photograph the wedding.

We chat more, she tells me what time the flight gets in, she say "you can work something out.." and so, I begin trying to work it out.

But wait.. this has happened before! Christmas last year we did the same routine- but she couldn’t get the time off work. So I tell her- listen, you CAN’T work that week. I’m very clear about this- I tell her several times to make her last day at work the friday before I come. She confirms.

I start working to figure out a plan. I jeopardize a friendship/working relationship with Beckie and her wedding to do this. That’s important to me- and I still feel guilty.

I talked directly to my boss- made a deal with her that I would work extra shifts to cover her the week after I get back so that I can have that week off. I did it though.

It’s the week of my birthday that I’m going and for 25 years we’ve had a family party for everyone’s birthday… but this year beause I won’t be home- on my 25TH BIRTHDAY, we’re combining my brother’s b-day and my b-day and having one big bbq/party on the 3rd of August so that I don’t miss out when I’m in Calgary.

All this stuff.. I worked it all out.

Before I bought the tickets, I asked her again- ARE YOU SURE you have that week off? "Yes", she says.

So I buy my tickets.

$700 FUCKING DOLLARS OF MY HARD EARNED MONEY… NON REFUNDABLE.

 

…

…

and first.

First she tells me that she’s changed her mind and that she’s NOT moving home after all. And I’m incredibly disappointed. I’m angry even- but I tell her that I’ll support her either way- because that’s what friends do.

…

and now..

Now she says "I have to work 3 days out of the 5 that you’re here".

and I’m completely breaking down.

 

You mean to tell me that not only did I pay $700 (which I could be putting towards quitting my job and finding a new place to live), but I’m LOSING money because of taking time off work.. AND I put a friendship in jeopardy…

AND!!!!

AND!!!!!!!!!

on top of all that, you’re telling me that you want me to GO TO WORK WITH YOU and VOLUNTEER????

ON MY VACATION?????

ACROSS THE FUCKING COUNTRY????

..

..

are you shitting me?

are you fucking kidding me???

 

What person in their right mind takes a week off work to fly across the country and volunteer on their vacation? Especially when they’re shit broke?

Is that your idea of a good time? Honestly?

I can’t wrap my head around this!

what the fuck, man?

 

I…… I don’t even

I can’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now.

 

and then she tells me that she’ll "try" to get the time off. And she says "IF IT HELPS ANY, I wouldn’t even be able to get the time off if it were my parents visiting"…

Uh, no. No, that doesn’t HELP any.

And who is this boss of hers anyway? Who the fuck does she think she is?

I mean.. she was going to QUIT, but she felt bad for leaving you- so she decided to STAY, and now you won’t even give her the week off??

What kind of Hell Bitch are you?

 

……………………..

It’s 1:10am.

I got up bright and early this morning so that I would be tired and able to go to sleep at a decent time tonight.

I’m so fucking upset, I can’t even begin to think about sleeping.

 

*flussshhhhhh* … down the drain. All of it.