Here and gone

♥ Today is the anniversary of the day Ed and I met. 1 Year ago today- 365 days. I can’t hardly believe it.

Of course, I’m sitting here at home waiting to hear from him. Even after a year, I’m still putting up with the constant disappointment from him. He told me he would be here tonight…. it’s 7:45.

♥ It feels like I’ve been waiting for this day for ages. Months ago, I was thinking, "wow, September is coming up soon and it will mark a whole year of knowing him…". Well, here it is, and there it goes. Just like all the other things I was looking forward to. I feel like I waited all year for the summer- for my big 30th birthday, for this anniversary. It’s all come and gone so fast and I don’t have any particular memory of these days except disappointment. A whole lot of nothing… that’s what I waited all year for.

I’m frustrated with my life and the way it’s going. I’m frustrated with myself and my choices leading me to this place. Everything I’ve been looking forward to has past and not gone the way I wanted. A year of lessons in not getting my hopes up… but I still do.

Which is why I’m sitting here in my empty house, with my hair and make-up done and my sexy outfit on, just waiting…. For the man who will probably not show. Again. On our 1 year anniversary.