Big Birthday?

♥ Today is my 30th birthday. 

A few months ago, I told some people that this birthday meant a lot to me. 30 years! That’s not just another birthday, that’s a BIG birthday. A milestone. It’s a little scary even, leaving my 20’s. I was also very excited for dirty 30. I put it out there casually, that I’d like it to be special. I told my brother, I told my friends, I told Ed. I even booked a few days off, just in case.

Well… Stupid me, thinking that anyone would give a shit.

Erin, my best friend, is currently on a road trip in PEI with a girl she works with. She told me she was going about 2 weeks ago.

My brother left this morning. We hung out, played games and had a few laughs. It was the best I got for the weekend/day.

Ed… well, I thought I might be seeing him. Nope. Can’t see me until tomorrow.

I’ve spent the day doing nothing. absolutely nothing with no one. I have no plans for tonight either. I’d like to have plans- I’d like to do something fun and exciting, but most of all, I’d like to spend time with people I care about. Instead, I’m all dressed up with no where to go. I’ll likely play video games and watch tv all night and go to bed early.

Even my friends who I thought I was close with haven’t messaged me to wish me a happy birthday. Janet sent me a message this morning telling me her stomach hurt. That was it.

 I know how this all sounds. I do. You’re thinking "come on, you’re 30 years old. Grow the fuck up and go make your own fun". Well, to that I say, Fuck you. I’m allowed to be disappointed that my birthday is sucking the big one. 

Here’s a lesson for all you young people.. the older you get, the less anyone cares about your birthday and the more likely you are to spend it by yourself wishing it was just another damn day.