Will You Rescue Me?

~So I started my new job this week. I survived the first two days!! yay for me!! They even took me out for lunch today to welcome me into the department. I thought that was really nice. And really unexpected. I hope that I work out in this company. I really do like the people that I work with. The three of us girls really get along which is awesome considering that I was scared that we might not, but so far everything is good. I haven’t really done a whole lot of training yet, but that’s ok. I need to get my feet wet first before I jump in. There is so much to learn and so much to do that I know I’ll be super busy once I start to get aquanited with everything. I’m still scared and nervous about my job but at least I’m feeling a little more comfortable with it. I just know that I have a long long way to go until I an finally up to speed…

~So the main reason why I wanted to write today is because I met someone. Let’s call him A. So A and I work together at my part time job and he’s been working there for a couple months. The funny thing is that when he first started he would walk by me and not say anything. I totally wrote him off. Like literally he almost walked right into me one day and didn’t say a word. So finally one day he walked by me like 5 times and i got so pissed that I finally in my most condescending voice I could muster said "I’m Megan by the way" well that started everything. A few weeks ago he picked up some extra shifts in my department so we were working together and one night in particular we worked a lot together. And we started talking and I started flirting like I do and we had a good time. He had previously added me on facebook and later that night he sent me a message telling him how much he appreciated working with me today and how I made his long day a little easier. I thought that was rather sweet and like a good girl responded to him. Well ever since we have been talking just about every night either through facebook, texting, or phone calls. So this past week we hung out a couple of times and its been ok. I mean I’m still not sure how I feel about him. I’m not used to someone putting in the effort that he has so far. It honestly is strange to me. Also we kissed. And I don’t know how I feel about it. I stopped the madness before it got anywhere farther, but I don’t know. Part of me wanted it to go on and part of me didn’t want it to happen. So I have been keeping most of my walls up around myself so I don’t get totally shattered, but I’m starting to care about this guy. What sucks is the fact that I don’t know if he actually cares about me. I mean after guys find out they won’t have the opportunity to sleep with me, the usually just drop me on the curb and never talk to me again. Or if you are Farmboy you use me as much as I will give, break me into a million pieces and then drop me to the curb. So I’m scared. I do feel something for this guy and I’m just worried that I am already too attached. If you would have asked me about him last week before we hung out I would have said something completely different, but now that we have shared some personal things with each other and stuff, I feel different. I also have my friends telling me different things. One is telling me to not get involved because me and A are really different. But on the other hand I have other friends telling me to go for it but to be really careful. I don’t know what to do.

~So I have decided to surprise him and be at work when he gets off. I don’t know if he’ll be excited or not but I’m going to do it. I have to say last time that I did this, it didn’t work out between that guy and me, but we’ll see. I also need to see gay Mike so I have a dual purpose for going to work tonight. At least it won’t be a complete waste if A doesn’t want to see me or things go sour. At least I get to see mike. I love gay best friends. I wish I would of found mike sooner!! He’s really the best friend that I have been searching for. And guys really do make good friends when they aren’t trying to get in my pants!!

~So hopefully all goes well tonight… I’m going to leave in about 30 minutes… I have no idea what I’m gonna do until then… I’m so freaking nervous… and I want it to be a surprise to A that I’m there so I need to hide myself when I am talking to mike… Wish me luck…