The Mistake You Can’t Live Without…

~Dear Opendiary friends… There has been something tragic that has happened… Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace has decided to leave the band! I got that news yesterday and it broke my heart.  Adam that was a mistake that I can live without… I need you! I need your voice, you have no idea how much just listening to you sing makes my day better… So 3DG is going on tour soon and they got the lead singer from My Darkest Days covering for Adam, cuz he is the brother of the bass player in 3DG, but they had a few sample songs of him singing 3DG and its ok but he’s no Adam, and I like My Darkest Days… So sadness…

~That’s not what I wanted to write about today really, but it is what has been depressing me lately… Anyways so since the new year happened a little over a week ago (I know I’m a little late), I tend to start thinking about my life and what has happened over the year… And if I would have wrote down where I would have thought my life would be now last year, I would be so far away from my expectations.  So much has happened to me this year.  But it was also a year of some pretty big changes for me.  I’ll start a list of them in order…

1. Eric came back into my life.  That was my first WOW moment of the year.  I never expected to even hear from him again, let alone almost start dating him again.  He reminded me that I can mean something to someone and that I am worth it to wait for, even though he didn’t think I was worth the wait being with him reminded me that I am, and that I will not give it up to someone who doesn’t actually love me.

2. I took a class called Leadership and Organizational Behavior.  It was taught my this awesome professor and he made us really dig inside ourselves and really get to know who we are and be able to share as a class some things that you wouldn’t normally share to a group of people you don’t know all that well.  This class hands down changed my life.  I see myself in a whole new light, I get outside my comfort zone more, and I take more risks. 

3-4. I quit Kohl’s and the started at Menard’s.  I’m lumping these two together cuz they happened because of one another.  I applied for a Management Internship at Menard’s and got it so that meant I could finally quit kohls! I have to say that was one of the happiest days of my life, my last day at Kohl’s.  They even bought me a cake!! Which was really nice of them.  I also inspired a couple other people to leave that place of establishment and go elsewhere with their lives.  I never realized how being there held me back.  So when I started at Menard’s all I remember thinking was "What did I get myself into?" I was really overwhelmed the first couple weeks cuz its something completely new and totally outside of my comfort zone.  Also there were lots of men.  I have not worked with mainly men ever.  So total change for me.  But it also changed me.

5. I went out on my first official date! I went with one of the fine fellows from Menard’s.  His name is Lonnie and even though nothing ever happened between us, I had a fantastic time, we hung out talked and it was nice.  I actually saw him a couple days ago, and now my friend thinks that we should try things again… I don’t think so but hey it was nice to see him.

6. I met Skippy (or the farmboy that I have referred to in a couple past entries) I learned quite a few things from this boy.  I realized that I am not a clingy girl and I don’t want a clingy boy.  I also learned that I’m not ready to give myself up quite yet and when pushed I will shut down.  I learned that I was willing to sacrifice a lot to be with the wrong boy, so now I have to be careful what I’m willing to sacrifice especially if he isn’t willing to do the same, and I learned what it feels like to be used and then rejected, and then the most painful hurt I have ever experienced.  Its taken me a long time to get over all the hurt and I’m still working on it,  But i’m a lot farther than I was.

7. Alycia and I stopped being friends. This SUCKED!! And it was all because of Skippy.  I still don’t agree with how she handled things but we are better now, mostly due to me trying and her missing the friendship and loyalty I provide.  But regardless our friendship has changed but we are still there for each other when we need each other.

8. I became best friends with Ashley.  She is a lot like Alycia and has introduced me to new things.  Also educated me a lot so idk if that’s good or bad, I guess we’ll see. 

9. Kevin got married… made me realize that i am not ready to get married, nor will i get married to someone the rest of my family doesn’t like.

10. Made an impression on a few guys… This one kinda goes through most of the year but I have gotten hit on more than ever in my life and I still don’t know why. I’m not that pretty or thin, or anything like that. I know what I want and where I want to go, but usually that intimidates men instead of attracts them so I really don’t understand this one, but I have learned that I am able to obtain pretty hott men and ones that are also really sweet, which also has given me the willingness to wait and not rush into finding the one.  He’s out there, I just haven’t met him yet.

~So as you can see, a lot has happened in just one year.  I have no idea how this year is going to turn out, no idea.  I have a lot more changes coming this year.  I graduate in May and hopefully will get a job and who knows I might have to move or I might stay here.  I know people that I love are leaving me behind soon and I might do the same.  Its scares me of all the possible outcomes that are headed towards me, but I’m also ready for it.  I’m ready to really mean something in the workplace and to start my life outside of school.  It is scary because school is all I know, but I also do know working, so hopefully it will be a smooth transition…

<span style="font-family

: Comic Sans MS”>~Until next time <3