Sensing…

~When I close my eyes I can see you, see you staring back at me. Pushing forth into my soul. To a place which I have kept hidden. Penetrating its hard outer shell, until you can seep your way inside. To spread and grow. When I close my eyes I can feel the heat of your body wrapped tightly around me. Protecting me from everything. Keeping me safe, allowing nothing to hurt me. When I close my eyes, I can hear you whispering in my ear. Telling me everything that I need to hear. Assuring me that you will always be here, in the one place I’ve kept hidden, except from him. When I close my eyes I can smell you on me. It fills me, challenging me to go on another day. When I close my eyes, I can taste you on my lips. How perfectly your softness sent shiver after shiver down my spine. Tasting so sweet. Feeling safe, yet dangerous all at the same time. But when I open my eyes, all I see is darkness. A longing pull towards you. You are no longer there holding my hand. protecting me from harms way, staring back into my eyes. You aren’t here when I need you most. I’m left wondering how you every cracked my hard outer shell. How could I ever let you in. Because once the crack starts there is no where else for it to go except to grow, until it breaks. Now I’m left with these broken pieces, out for everyone to see. When I open my eyes I see pain and suffering. When I open my eyes, I hear sorrow and grieving. When I open my eyes, I smell death and decay. When I open my eyes, I taste sour and bitterness. When I open my eyes, I feel numb and broken. When I open my eyes, I am all alone left to wonder if you were real or a dream created when I closed my eyes…