I Am Holding On, Still Holding On…

~So, I hung out with Steve last night… Oh it was wonderful! I don’t know how one guy can make me feel so special! Its such a great feeling… The only thing that sucks is that he still doesn’t want a relationship, which i figured wouldn’t change in a week, i just pray that he changes his mind sometime and wants me. I asked him if we were gonna be like friends with some benefits and i don’t think that he ever really replied to that, but I asked him if he was going to be doing stuff with other girls and he said no, and if he was going to he would stop everything with me… so I guess that’s nice of him. I just with we were together officially… I think that I could make him happy and I know that he does make me happy so I don’t see why we wouldn’t work out at least for a little while. Everytime i’m with him it just feels so right. I never want the night to end. Walking away from him was one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do. I really want to be with him. I really wish that he would feel the same. I don’t want to pass up someone else if the opportunity approaches but I don’t want to leave him behind either. I just wish that it would have all worked out… Us together. And maybe it will. I don’t know the future, and probably it won’t but I guess i’ll just have to deal with that. Every one gets broken sometime, I knew getting involved with him would break my heart and its gonna happen eventually… It always does, I just hope that there is some time in between now and then… I just have this sick feeling that he’s gonna find someone over our winter break, or go back to the girl that he was involved with all during high school… that more than anything would break my heart… but i guess if you never put your heart into things you never have a chance to full heal either… oh why is life so hard, if it were easier there would be a lot less head aches!!