Help Is on the Way…
~that title comes from Rise Against new single. I love the song, its really real. The point of it is that when you think that help is coming it really never does come. They can promise all they want but in the end its all you.
~so what led me to these thoughts were the fact that I don’t think I believe in happily ever afters anymore. I love chick flicks but in the end they always end up happy, yeah they have some rough patches but again, in the end they always get what they want. and you know what…life is NOT like that. its just not. I had high hopes for my life, i really did, but now I just feel like they are all so far away. so unattainable. When I was a freshman in high school i had a ton of friends there was a guy that liked me, and i thought that everything was going to end up ok. Yes I was still dealing with depression but knowing that there was someone who wanted to be with me, made it easier to deal with, someone who made me feel beautiful and worth it… yeah that was good… but now its so far from that. I saw one of my friends today at work and she said that she wouldn’t make any promises to contact me. and all i could think was that wow i’m not even worth your time anymore… it just made me feel so worthless. And really she’s one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met and then this happens and i have to rethink everything.
~Is it too much to ask for a happy ending, or at least a few happy moments?? Its been a while since i’ve even had a guy around, i mean eric was 4 years ago and yes there were a few possible guys in there but none who wanted to call me their girlfriend… I just feel so alone all the time. Everyone keeps telling me that i should just wait, that it will happen, but what if it doesn’t. I don’t want to end up alone, I don’t think that i could survive if that was the case. 🙁 I just don’t know what to do anymore. The semester just ended and now my best friend is going back home 5 hours away and i probably won’t see her until fall semester starts, that’s gonna be a long 15 weeks without her. I just feel like such a loser and its times like these that i wish i would have gone through with my suicide…
There might not ever be that fairy tale ending. I thought i had it once upon a time, and it couldnt have ended worse. But i have found that the search is sometimes the best part. I never want a fairy tale ending. They are boring. Everyone knows how they end. Its how they lived that makes a difference.
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What’s up my girlfriend? I tell everyone you are my girlfriend. They all agree that I am the best boyfriend you ever had since you don’t have to deal with me, just note me every now and again and act like you like the notes I leave. (Yes, that was lame as ever). Hang in there girl. You will make it I promise. Your life stage is about finding your careeer not a lifemate. Fairy tales are just that!
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Umm…Hello! You have friends that care about you. That is worth waaaay more than any boy. You’re friends are always going to be there for you not matter what, I would hope you know that by now. And the last part really worries me
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Oooh we both know you could totally survive being alone. That’s probably the scariest part. I can totally relate… I haven’t had a girlfriend in quite some time. Maybe my standards are too high… not always wrong to make a few ‘bad’ choices before the right one. Are your standards too high? Maybe you should become a pinch more shallow! “The more you know, the more problems you’ll have, Algernon”
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Oh, and thanks so much for the kind notes on my entry 🙂 glad you like it– I’m pretty proud of it so far!
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