Finding Out You Were Used=Not A Good Day

~Ok wow, a lot has happened since i last updated… Lets start with last week…

~So Steve and the basketball team went to a tourney in iowa so he was gone last thursday through saturday (november 19-21)… and while he was gone he was texting me like 3 to 4 times a day and it was like we were together and everything was going great. Then on saturday he texted me and asked if i was going to be awake when they got back from iowa. and i said yes, i would be, they ended up getting back a lot earlier than he thought, so we hung out. It was good. I love being with him… Then on sunday we were texting and it was fine, but then later he just kept asking about homework and stopped replying to anything else so i thought that was kinda weird. Then on monday he was acting all different. I didn’t talk to him and i just didn’t think too much about it. Then on tuesday I hung out with him and a couple of our other friends and it was really awkward… like really really awkward… so on tuesday after his game i texted him good job and everything even though he only played about a one minute and he like didn’t reply and then i asked him if everything was ok and he was like yeah i’m just talking to a bunch of people and i’m not even sure if he was lying but it doesn’t matter… then on wednesday he texted me about homework and i haven’t heard from him since… i didn’t go on facebook all weekend so i wouldn’t check his profile repeatedly, but when i went on before he had a status update on friday that said he couldn’t wait for friday night, and some girl commented on it on saturday and said that it was a great night and that she couldn’t wait to see him again… and then she wrote on his wall today that she was happy that she got to see him today!!! When i read that i immediately got very sick to my stomach… i’m really depressed right now… he totally left me for another girl, i mean i probably should have seen this one coming but it hurts all the same… and right now it hurts really badly. I feel so used so pathetic… I mean i’m not the type of girl who turns heads or who even gets guys to talk to me, unless they are just being friendly, and then steve was out of the ordinary and i thought that everything was finally going to start working out for me, but you know what they didn’t. I guess i shouldn’t be surprised, I mean i can’t remember the last time things really ever worked out for me… this just sucks really sucks… i’m really depressed right now and i want to go curl up in a ball and die so bad things can’t happen to me anymore. so i can’t feel anymore. so i can’t get hurt anymore. i’m sick of always getting broken, i’m sick of always been sad… its just not fair. i really want it all to end and yet i could have done it five years ago and i’m still wondering why i didn’t go through with it… or why i don’t try again… this sucks

~Sorry for the depressing entry :'(