Dear John

~So I’m currently waiting for some washers to open up so I can do my massive amount of laundry… So I though that I would take this time to compose an entry.

~I went to see Dear John today. Great movie, well for girls maybe I can’t see too many guys liking it but that’s besides the point.  So while I was watching this, I thought of my ex who is in the Marines… Yeah if I wasn’t already crying from the movie that made me. I still can’t believe that he affects me this way. Its been over a year since we have last had any communication between us. It just so hard to deal with all this. I don’t know why I still care, or why I still think about him, there just isn’t any explaination. 🙁  God I am messed up. He’s moved on, I thought I had also, but apparently I was wrong. I tried to forget him, but its impossible. I just wish that there was some way that I could let him know all this, but there isn’t. I’m not sure it would matter anyways. Actually I know it wouldn’t matter to him but it would matter to me. Its just hard to deal with this constantly, I need a break from this, from life. I need something to change anything. This is getting way to hard to deal with, some days its difficult to keep hanging on. I wish this weren’t true but sadly it is. I’m trying everything in my power to deal with my feelings, with my thoughts, but sometimes there’s just nothing that can be done. Sometimes no matter what happens things never go away, things never change, I still wish they would though…