Ashamed…

I have abandoned you.  I spend my time reading books I have already read, visiting old imaginary friends; sadly imagined by someone else.  I visit these worlds to make mine seem more exciting.  I can feel my self melt into the pages, almost becoming a part of the story.  School will start soon and I do not like it.  I hardly lived this summer, and now it is over.  I hate how superficial college is.  It is just like high school in a way.  I miss being a child.  I have dreams of being nineteen forever, loving and living perpetually. 

Two years and four months.  I have not made that count for quite awhile.  I remember when I use to count the days of the weeks, till the next month.  Each day I had him, seemed so significant that it had to be counted.  Now I forget to count though each day is still just as significant if not more so.  I try to let him know that as much as I can. 

I am so insecure about my self even after all this time.  I have dreams of him leaving me, and I do not know why.  I have nightmares the most though.  They pertain to the end of my precious little world as I know it.  Ranging from aliens, to dinosaurs, to zombies; all infesting my dreams making me wake up with a start, or a shout.  I can not imagine how I would sleep at all if I did not have him there to hold me when I awake in the night.

I am going to
Colorado
next weekend to take my sister to her new home.  We are driving there and then I am flying back.  I have never been on a plane.

Friday I am getting my first tattoo; a little scorpion on my left hip.  I hope it turns out good or else I will have my whole life to regret it.

Hopefully I will be able to continue my writings.