I just don’t know anymore.

I am burning, bursting with longing and desire for you; for all of you.

I do not want to be a professional obligation to you, and yet I don’t know how to bring about a change in the role I play in your life.

So acceptance is key, right? Accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

There is only one place to go with love and longing this strong: directly to God.

Not to you. Because the kindest thing I could think to say to you was to forget all about me/us/your job while you go on vacation.

I miss you so much now; and yet I miss what I want, and believe in the core of me I need, even when I see you almost every day.

The aching lack of what I need pierces every waking moment.

Is it you; or is it everything a woman is? Not any woman; but is it really only you? No. It is a woman who is out there who can meet my needs, as I meet hers; she exists because she must, for without her I don’t know how much longer I can go on.

Oh, I’m hardy; let me not get so on the brink here.

Where are you?