Shatterhand

 Perhaps that’s why I locked away my feelings. People seem so neurotic when it comes to dating and relationships. I used to be that way myself.

I was having texting here or there with Kaitlyn, then I texted asking her out to dinner-ish, and nothing since. 

Are there plenty of rational explanations? Absolutely. It’s hard to think of those though, It’s easier to be irrational and assume that one false move has ruined everything. Which is very well possible, but unlikely. I’m always prepared for the end, let’s just hope it doesn’t come so soon. I generally don’t regret being a guy; no menopause, no childbirth, etc., but stereotypically the guy has to make the first move and make the initiative and all that. When it comes to women, I’m clueless. This makes things difficult. I’m already starting to idealize, which is bad. I keep thinking about how great this girl is, and how great we’d be together. Too bad that means precisely dick when it comes to reality. It doesn’t matter if the relationship would be horrible or great, the world doesn’t care. I won’t let this slip through my fingers and quickly abandon hope like I usually do; if she isn’t responding, I’ll just keep trying, until she tells me to go away or something. I myself am sometimes forgetful when it comes to texts and getting back to people, so that’s also a possible explanation.

I should get back to watching Dexter. He’s totally me, other than that I’m not a serial killer. I am for the most part empty, and cannot understand people, especially when it comes to dating and sex.

Trivia was cool. We got 2nd place, though perhaps our performance was aided by the fact that most of the bar was distracted by the Oregon football game, since it was for the national championship or something. We were in 5th before the final round, and I convinced my team to take a risk and guess after only the first question, since it’s a bigger risk but also more points. We wrote down the answer, they started reading off the next clue, and I made some really weird sound as soon as my mouth opened, I guess I couldn’t formulate "Wait!" or something like that. Just a weird, loud, distracting mumble. It worked, and we got the question right. So we almost won at trivia, albeit our best performance in a series of consistently better performances, we got a gift card to share, and I got to watch a bunch of bandwagon football fans collectively sigh in despair as their team lost in the last few seconds of the game. What a great night!