Everybody Knows That A Broken Heart Is Blind

Well, I was feeling better, but I think I’m sick again. I felt fine Wednesday night and Thursday morning, so I donated, and still felt fine. Once I clocked in Thursday, I started feeling sick. It came and went. I think I’m allergic to work, heh. It’s been more consistent today. Hoping it wanes enough for me to donate again tomorrow, the last bit of my funds went to car payment, food and gas. 

Also, to keep with the theme of bad things happening, I probably will have to drop my classes for next term. I certainly told the lady at work who makes schedules a month and a half ago about school, and even wrote down my school schedule for her. Lo and behold, the schedule for the second week of January was out yesterday, and I work on both school days, the two days I asked for off. I talked to her about it and she had no idea, or sympathy. Apparently there’s some book we’re supposed to write in for things like that, but I was never informed of it before. She basically said too bad and that they won’t give me Thursday off. I am pissed. I understand I have been given more than most, it’s rare for someone to have been there a little over a year and trained in every area. I’ve also worked my ass off and done everything I’ve been asked. I’ve never missed a day, no matter how sick I felt, and I’ve stayed later or gone home early whenever asked to. This lady is horrible at making schedules, and I’ve suffered due to it for weeks. I’m also not the only one. I’m not going to be the one to rock the boat, I’d just get fired. There’s a supervisor who is, well, a bitch, and I’ve managed to stay on her good side until recently. Apparently asking for help was enough to get on her bad side, judging from the looks I now get. Not even work is a safe haven of sorts anymore. I can’t quit, I have no money and I can’t just go out and get a full-time job tomorrow. It’s also far too late to get a different school schedule, I wasn’t happy with the one I had or the classes I picked, yet the times and classes were all that were available that fulfilled what I need for my degree that didn’t totally make working impossible. 

I just…ugh. Can’t catch a break. There are certainly people out there with it worse than me, but I’ve always been one to take things for granted.

I spent today chauffeuring Kayla around to pawn shops and the mall to sell jewelry and run errands. It snowed, but still felt like a dreary day. Dropped her off, came home, and I’ve been in bed watching Psych re-runs as usual. I feel really warm, that happens often. Don’t really have a good way of stopping it either. 

I usually don’t let the cats in my room, but I figured I should, since everyone else is gone. They are cute, but keep getting into everything. I had a hard time sleeping, as always, but it was worse with them. Duke kept knocking down my bamboo screen, so eventually I had to shoo them out of the room and close the door so I could sleep. Relentless little buggers, they can’t leave anything alone.

I’m certainly not looking forward to my early shift tomorrow. I suppose if things keep getting worse, I can just focus on getting more and more sticks so that I can get the minimum amount needed to take the state test. Not that I really want to be a phlebotomist anywhere else, but between that, medical assisting, or working in a lab, I’m sure I could take the experience from my current job, go elsewhere, and make several more dollars an hour. Well, when I find an open spot anyway. I am often more loyal than I should be when it comes to work. Loyalty only goes so far. If they don’t give me the other 75 cents an hour I’m owed once I am completely certified and have taken my phleb test at work, that will cause me to start looking for something sooner.

I check my phone way too often. As if something will magically happen and someone will want to do something. I almost always initiate hanging out with anyone. I guess I am bored, and lonely. I’m also stubborn. I’ll continue being a hermit for a while longer. Also, people are so very flaky. Particularly any female that I know. I was making tentative plans to hang out last night with Alyssia and drink, but then the day of, no response once I mentioned it. Perhaps I am rash in thinking that someone saying they are free to hang out any night would also include the next night? How do things happen normally? I’m so very used to silence, or someone cancelling on me the last minute. I’m not a creep, I’m not overly pushy. Am I too direct? Clearly it is something. So thus I go back to not caring, or at least pretending not to. For the best probably. I was disappointed when I met her, as I talked to her on a dating site, and she looked nothing like she did on there. Any female interaction is welcomed at this point I suppose. In that sense, settling sometimes doesn’t sound quite so bad. If you can’t have the someone you want, maybe a someone is better than no one. Maybe.