If I could, I would

it is tough being a single parent, especially when you arent single. D, my childrens father, has completely checked out. He went back to work this past week and somehow he thinks that I am supposed to have everything perfect from Day 1. But he was out of work for months and I still had to come home with my house being a total wreck. I have been out of work for a week and i have accomplished more than he did in months. I am proud of myself. I am proud of my progress. I feel like I can do this all on my own. I dont really want to, but I feel like this will be the best course of action.

I began planning my garden today. I bought seeds a while ago, but now I am going to prepare the ground. Tomorrow, I am going to Lowes to get what I need. I am thinking about importing dirt to get a good yield this year. I got moonflowers. I am so excited for those.

I am trying to focus on the little things because the big things are just so maddening. Trying to keep my sanity is harder than ever. My children are growing beautifully, but they drain me completely. I am keeping my head up. Chugging along. Baby steps towards joy. It is a process.