looking to make a vow soon

so i did actually pass my exams. i am actually a doctor! wahoo! but now comes other stress, and there are no excuses any more. i cannot use exams as a reason…

but just to clarify- i am officially that girl that organised her wedding whilst sitting finals and managed to pass. which makes me extra clever.

 

so my sister is fucking nuts. and ridiculously jealous. fumingly jealous. and its sickening.

i have laid out all my bridal outfits on a sheet on the floor in my room and covered them with another sheet. to air out the india smell. and so that they dont get too handled. she kept walking and stepping all over it, and leaning on it like it was nothing, despite the fact that i told her not to at least twice. and it was like she was clearly doing it on purpose. seriously? that jealous? sitting there saying it’s amazing whilst simultaneously not respecting it AND carrying out actions that could possibly destroy it? hm. bitch.

then mum told her to buy me new underwear for being a married woman, and to buy make up for the wedding and also for me to take with me after. like- posh stuff. not the cheap kind.
she bought herself bras. got bored when i was looking for my own, and moaned about wanting to leave. tried to get discounts for the make up- to the extent that she offered to pay less for the TESTER eyeshadow. seriously wanted to buy me tester eyeshadow for my bridal makeup. she also kept inviting people to the actual wedding, when i havent even invited half of my own friends. people i dont know. she kept making comments about how i was lucky to be able to wear any kind of make up whereas her skin is too sensitive. (ok. but thats not my fault, so what is with the comments?). let’s see what else….she kept trying to give me her old gold strappy sandals for the wedding, DESPITE the fact that i already bought my own shoes, which took me ages to select- and i specifically selected because they are classy and supportive. OH and the best part- the purse issue. first she kept trying to give me her own, then she spotted one when we were out shopping, and decided she wanted it, depsite knowing i needed it…AND THEN said- oh- im going away on the 10th after the wedding, you have to let me use the purse when you’re done with it on the wedding day.

WHAT? why would i give her my bridal stuff? does she not understand that i am getting married- and that this is all stuff for me and my married life? and that anything i buy- is not going to be re-used- and probably be saved for my own daughter’s wedding?

i also bought outfits from india to LITERALLY WEAR AFTER I AM MARRIED, for all the small ceremonies when i meet with ST’s family etc- and she tried one of them on- as if that was ok…JEALOUS.

and the even better part- she is running around telling mum that she couldnt get time off to help with the wedding…hm, she managed to get time off before to go on holiday to Rome, and after for another holiday- literally the same day we leave for our honeymoon. WEIRD? COINCIDENCE? i think not! sounds to me like she is clearly not dealing with any of this well, and instead of sucking it up like a 32 year old woman who loves her sister SHOULD, she is fucking running away.

she is even getting annoyed that my cousin who is flying specially from India, is trying to help out. like seriously? stop being such an obstructive bitch. she did all this crap at her friend’s wedding in 2009. she couldnt handle the situation, so stepped out, and then got annoyed when someone else did it instead.

she also kept trying to find faults in ST. like she was waiting for him to fuck up so she could feel better about herself. she kept on repeatedly saying- oh if he ever hurts you, i will beat him up. then when i joked that he wanted me to stay at home and have babies- she took it way seriously and was like “but what do you want to do? you should do what makes you happy…”

FUCK OFF!!!! she really doesnt get what marriage is. and i dont mean- oh- shes not married so she doesnt understand…i mean- her head is so far up her own arse, she hasnt taken the time to understand what life is about, and just cannot comprehend what it means to be married and what it means to be with someone, and has preconceptions about what it is, and refuses to understand otherwise. she tried to educate me about sex. seriously? SERIOUSLY? i do not want to have a conversation about it with someone like her, let alone take advice. she asked me if i was scared? really? EVEN if i was, i wouldnt tell her. its like she doesnt see that i am a 26 year old DOCTOR, who has been in a relationship for 3 and a half years, WITH a lot of friends.

jesus.

 

anyway i bought a whole brand new set of make up from chanel. i figured it might as well be the best of the best. and i do like chanel. im quite lucky i have fair skin so that i can use white-people make up- dont need to shop around too much.

also it seems that bright pinky-rose colours suit me best. which makes me feel so much like a princess lol. i cannot explain it…it just does.

i got a liquid foundation and brush, a powder foundation, blush, eye-shadow compact, eyebrow compact, eyeliner pencil, mascara, a lipstick, and nail polish. i put it all into my new vanity case that mum bought me. pretty exciting.

i also bought about 5 underwear sets. im going to wear a blue one for the wedding (something new, and blue). and a purple one for some other ceremonies mum needs me for. and then i have a black polka dot one, a pink floral one, and black with red lace one for general wear and post-wedding wear. my current bras are falling apart. i also seem to have hoarded quite a few.

 

oh i have my wedding outfits too…i went all the way to India and back for 4 days and got it all bashed out. a few things need altering, but it is manageable. everyone is pretty impressed so far. jewellery is stressing me out a little, but i am sure it will sort itself out.

there are a few other things left to organise, and i think i stress myself out more than necessary. i dont think i have been bridezilla about anything. only the decorations- and i think only because i have a certain image in my head, and need to work out a way of executing it.

i really hate when people try to influence what i want, and try to tell me what i should or shouldnt do. i think getting myself a couple of degrees in 7 years is proof enough that i am more than capable. AND i did it without anyone else’s advice thanks.