i predict an earthquake

i predicted one. i always predict one. i always know it’ll come. every good occasion gets shat all over by my fucked up family.

this time i think i fixed it. i think i fixed it for a good amount of time. i think.

last week was diwali. so naturally i knew something would happen…only i had sort of come to the conclusion that maybe i wouldnt have to worry and nothing would happen. and then i got 4 missed calls from my dad demanding i come and take my mum cos he was done with her.

so i ended up picking my mum up. i didnt find her at work. i found her barefoot at the local mandir. the local mandir 2 miles away. to which my diabetic mother had walked to in a fit of tears barefoot.

but i picked her up. told her to get strong. not for my dad. not for me. not for anyone but herself. i told her she needed to start looking after her fucking health. that she needed to get mentally stronger so that next time this shit happened, she wouldnt break down and walk for miles barefoot. instead she would handle it.

i took her to my place. my head felt like it was splitting. not painfully…uncomfortably. like an overstuffed cushion…my skull sutures were bursting at the seams. but i stayed quiet. ST was my calm. he told me to stay strong and i did. god, i love him.

my dad kept calling me constantly. i didnt pick up till early evening. i dont want to repeat the things he said. he vaguely apologised anyway. 

the bigger picture…they both had to move on and start trusting each other again and relying on each other again. they both had to let go of whatever had happened in the past and be ready to take the next step together. 

they both kinda agreed. 

the next day i took mum home. made them say happy diwali to each other. and made them agree to sit down together, and talk…together. to start trusting each other.

i also told my dad he had to do diwali puja with my mum. nicely. as a family.

he did.

mum’s been bringing him his tea and food…hes taking it…hes not walking away. hes not looking at her with disgust…and she’s willing to listen…

the ice has been broken…but the conversation isnt exactly flowing. that will take time for sure…but theres no more hate.

apparantly theyre going to china together next week. some business deal stuff…but he’s taking my mum. to china. itll be nice for her. to get away. to relax a little. to actually travel with her husband. she asked me for tips about the far east..i told her what i remember of china (my mum has massive dietary requirements)…and then she told me to tell dad…but i told her she can tell him herself…she can at least try and talk to him about it. and it should be ok. im sure my dad can ask me himself if he has any other questions. 

i hope they do a little tourism…i mean…they’re flying all the way to china?! i hope they go around a little. have some sort of nice time. a little piece of my heart mends at the thought of them posing for a picture together at the great wall. a small glimpse of a kind of smile together. 

so i think i may have managed to mend my parent’s marriage a little..