could’ve had a castle and worn a ring

so i am not engaged (yet). but i am getting married.

06/07/13.

it is auspicious. a full moon. picked by a holy man. the Dalai Lama’s birthday. 

we had a hiccup about the venue. but we have all decided…it will be at the house. lot’s of tents and marquee’s and colours and guests. no one has done it yet, no one else will ever do it after me…and NO ONE has ever had a full out wedding at our address.

it will be a full on indian extravaganza. i have this whole bollywood saga in my head. and i think it’s based on a dream i had the other night.

I was wearing a completely gold metallic outfit. with bits of green..or was it blue…or was it orange…it kept changing colours with the light. i had the dupatta pinned into my hair and to my long sleeves. i looked…different. i was in my room…my mum getting me ready. and then from afar in the background there was a beat. a heavy beat. and cheering. and mum ran away. and i knew he was here…

ST arrived on white horse, dressed in white. and i ran to see him. i felt like i wasnt meant to see him. but i looked anyway…from afar. so no one saw me see him. his hair had formed a side-parting cos of the turban, but he looked….more than handsome. something more than beautiful. something regal. and i knew i felt so proud. because i knew i wanted to be close to him. i wanted him to smile that smile at me. but he was smiling at everyone else adoring him, and i felt jealous, but i knew it was ok, because after this day, he would be mine forever. and he would smile that smile to me. i looked over and saw my sister and cousin laughing about how much money they had made from it…my cousin came over and hugged me…she was so different. she had blossomed and had grown into herself. she wasn’t shy any more, she was a woman. and she told me how happy she was for me. and she led me away and i went downstairs. no one was worried about where i was. 

at some point we were sat around the fire ready to do our 7 walks around. and at some point i woke up. 

and when i did i realised how excited i am. and how bollywood my dream was, and how i kinda need it to be. 

he will arrive on a horse with drums. i will come down the stairs in red and gold surrounded by a group of girls. it will be……………..the way it should be.

i will leave my house at the end. i will cry for my parents and loss of innocence. and i will be leaving the house i call home and it will be real. 

and we will drive off into the sunset. 

i have the venue, caterers, and decorations sorted basically. my dad will find a photographer and videographer. and a DJ. 

i have a cake. i just need to sort out what it will look like with SN.

i just have to book a woman for my make up, hair and henna. 

and my outfits.

1) i need 1 sari for a court wedding. DONE.

2) an outfit to wear for the engagement/ring ceremony…maybe a sari, or maybe a salwaarkameez…

3) a lengha for the wedding.

4) a lengha for the reception.

5) a nice salwaarkameez for the sangeet.

6) several salwaarkameez for other small minor events.

7) something to wear for graduation.

so far so good.