come on pretty mama

im in miami and its hot. i was hoping i wouldnt need to entry during this holiday, but sadly, i do. SK. she thinks my relationship with ST is a joke and she ridicules it at any oppurtunity she can.

she reckons that im too serious with ST when its only been 6 months. she doesnt get how i can be so in love and so sure hes the one. she doesnt understand why i cry when he says spiteful things.

let me explain a couple things.

1) she has never been in a relationship herself.

2) she bases it on what she knows from other friends.

fine. ok. she has never been in a relationship herself, so how can she know im “too serious”? and even if i am, what difference does it make? im happy. im enjoying my relationship. yes we fight and argue and it got so bad for me at one time i cracked and cut myself, but we sorted it out. and the wound has healed. and im moving on from it and there isnt a day where i dont look at the scar and wish i hadnt done it.

let me just say something here about the friends she bases her information on. one of them is FP. the other is PS. these girls have been in 3 year relationships now. they cheat on their boyfriends. they CHEAT big time. heck, PS slept with a guy on the floor of our hotel room while we were in new york the day she went to see her boyfriends parents.

now, i dont judge her for it, she can do what she wants. what bothers me is that SK is then saying to me that my relationship is basically a mickeymouse club relationship in comparison to her.

what. the. fuck.

so not only is she saying to me that my relationship is not worth the seriousness i give it, but to add insult to injury, PS’s relationship is?

FP. has cheated on her boyfriend loads of times.

congratulations FP. congratulations PS. congratulations SK.

these girls can do as they please with their relationships. they can cheat and lie and let it all come out one day in the future or keep it a secret forever.

i can rest my head at night knowing i havent done anything. knowing that i have loved ST with my whole heart and that i could never given anything to anyone else but him.

and that makes me too serious?

because im in a committed adult relationship where we dont cheat on each other? right. im too serious.

and yunno, she hasnt said it once. she hasnt said it twice. she said it the third time and i cried. i wept. i missed him like crazy and i couldnt hold the tears. PS comforted me. she made me feel less like i was crazy. she made me feel less like it was wrong to be in love with ST. she confirmed that it WAS ok to love someone after 6 months.

i managed to skip that 6 months period of time of games and lieing and cheating and fuck ups. we didnt go into the relationship wondering if the other person liked the other or not. we just KNEW. we just knew it was right. and we went with the flow of it. nor did we meet randomly and have to grow in trust with each other or try to work out if this was chemistry or romance of just friendship. we went into it knowing this could turn into a relationship. THERE WERE NO MIND GAMES. it was pure and easy and felt good. so why does everyone have to put their games into it? when other people in their 3 year relationships DID have to play those games in the first 6 months, why cant she understand that i was lucky enough to skip it?

she said it again though. last night. while drunk. and it is my belief that your true emotions come out when your drunk cos you dont have any inhibitions to hide them. this time she didnt say it to me in her drunkeness. she didnt say it to PS or even JW. she said it to some random girl. RANDOM GIRL. “can you please tell her not to be so serious when shes only 6 months into her relationship?!” thank you SK. i feel fucking ridiculous.

so now i feel like every time something happens or i get into a fight with ST or im just feeling generally down, i cant talk to SK. nor can i tell her about the good. like the time when half way through doing naughty stuff he started tickling me and started laughing himself when i was screaming, and that thinking about that is what makes me cry cos ive never felt so free and happy. nor can i tell her about the fack that everytime he rolls over in his sleep he whispers i love you. and the fact that when i left on june9th, even though i hadnt spent the night with him, and i hadnt actually left the country, he still woke up in the morning feeling like he had lost something.

im not one of those girls that talks openly  about my relationship to everyone. in fact i consciously try not to go on and on about him. i do bring him up where its relevant. simply because he takes up so much of my life at the moment. what they dont think about is the fact that when im with him, i talk about them all the time. because thats who ive been spending my time with.

yesterday when he called i asked him whether he wanted to ask me anything about my holiday. he said “im sure when you get back i’ll be hearing about it for a couple of years”.

i dont know why she doesnt like my relationship. maybe it is just the fact that i ended up cutting. maybe its because im actually honest about the fact that we fight. maybe she just cares.

either way, i am done feeling like ive done something wrong by being with him. because i know i havent. i know im happy. and i know im enjoying myself.

so where is the crime?