Potential Chance

Crazy as it may be. I might have found a reason to keep writing. Well see if it happens and I don’t want to get my hopes up. But its weird how sometimes the stars align.

For those who don’t know (which would be most of you) I have wanted to be a surrogate for several years now. Several. Living in AZ there are very strict rules that I have SORT OF looked into. Where I am from (CA) its a pretty easy process. You go through an agency. Follow the rules and guidelines and bam. Done deal. (I mean I know there’s more to it, but that is the jist of it all.)

I’m about 95% sure me and the husband are done having kids. I have an irrational fear of having a girl, and with the lack of family support and such its just not a great idea. However, the possibility of being a surrogate has never left my mind. EVER. But I did set up rules for myself and kind of gave myself a “cut off date”…age 35. I’m 34 now.

My neighbor recently began a look into finding a surrogate. I had mentioned it to her before but for reasons, she pretty much said “Thanks, but no thanks.” Which is fine, a blow to my ego but hey. It is their baby after all. Today we were talking and she told me she recently met with a potential surrogate and things didn’t go as well as planned. I was crushed for her. I actually cried. I mean I know people do it for the income, and to me, that’s great and all but to be able to give to someone who cant have children I think is the bigger reward. To be able to say I helped complete a family, just fills me with so much happiness. I cant describe it. Shes had a few people offer and then back out so shes very apprehensive and wants to take her time. Makes total sense. I mean, its a scary process, a huge investment. They have a lot to lose.

But we talked again today and I let her know. That if she would consider me, I am here. I would LOVE to do it.

Im not asking for millions of dollars, or thousands for that matter (Unless you’re Kim and Kanye). But to know that I could help a family that, for me is what its all about.

So anyway….me birth control expires this month. Weird right, what a coincidence. I just turned 34. A year before my cut off.  She wants to be very involved with everything (again, duh I would hope so) lol I live across the street. How much more could she be involved.

So she said she would talk with her husband and get back to me. I totally get it. And we will see, I mean it may not work out. But the possibility has me giddy. And if they did want to, it would give me a reason to document EVERYTHING. Thats the best part.

So we’ll see. Ill see what the road lies ahead for me. Hope its good news.

I needed to get this off my chest. And not on FB. Somewhere no one really knows me. And this happened to be perfect.

Thank you Bruce, for at least giving me a month.

Xoxo