Toilet stories

I wrote this for my web page but thought I would share it here to 🙂

Toilet Stories
 

We’ve traveled around a bit. Not too as many places as we would like to go but none the less a little bit.

Everywhere you go there are toilets, everywhere we go there is always a toilet story.

Here are some of the more memorable stories. As remembered by McDinzie

England

Toilet #1

DJD is a Brit and his family still live in England. It was the year that his father turned 80 that we went back for a visit. My first time ever in England.

I suppose I should explain that I don’t have a fascination with toilets its just that I have a need to use them more than is probably healthy. However ever since I was a little kid as soon as we went anywhere, I would want to go to the toilet as soon as we got there or on the way. Ask my mother she will confirmJ. So there seems to be an inbuilt trigger in my head now that I have to go to the toilet in new surroundings.

DJD family lived in Chester, and that’s where he grew up. One of our first places to visit was the Chester wall. There is a stone wall that surrounds the now centre of Chester. It’s probably 7m high and has a walking track on top of it, all the way round. We had probably walked half of it when I got the urge!

So we dropped into the city centre, now where is a toilet. I must say my ability to find toilets is pretty fine tuned so I don’t usually find it too difficult to find one. I can’t remember if it was difficult or not however we did find one next to a market place where there was a hub of activity.

So off to the toilet I go. Now things over the years have certainly improved on the toilet front however apparently not in Chester! I could not believe that the toilet paper was still that grease proof paper I used to encounter as a young girl in the public toilets in Gore. As I hovered over the toilet (cause you don’t ever sit on a public toilet) and I was pulling the paper towelette out of the dispenser I couldn’t believe I would have to put this waxy stuff near my tender bits!!! I even had to take a section so I could show djd….I was gob smacked.

But to top it all off when I went to dry my hands there was a really soft paper towel to use!! I mean what’s that all about?? The rough stuff in the toilet and the soft stuff for your hands!

Toilet #2

We’d been in England for a few days now and we were taking a trip into Wales. We were heading for a place called Lands End but apparently I can’t read maps! This certainly was not the first time that we had gotten lost in England, we made a real habit of it.

We diverted to a town called Llangollen (Lan goth lun). When we first arrived we parked in an open car park and stepped out of the car and the cold just hit me and my bladder. Luckily for me where we parked there was a toilet block. There are a ladies and men’s and a children’s toilet, how cute!! So in I go and oh no I need 10p to get into a toilet!! I’ve never struck this before in my entire life….it actually true when they say in Llangollen “I’m off to spend a penny”.

 Unfortunately I didn’t have any coins on me so had to wonder off to find somewhere else. We spent some time in Llangollen wondering around and seeing various things. So as we headed back to the car I just knew I would have to go for a pit stop before I left so made sure I had 2x10p in my pockets!

So in I march – money at hand – an old pro at this toilet lark now. I find an one that says it is unoccupied, I slip my money in and push on the door to open it – god those doors are heavy – so I pushed and pushed, I must be dreaming it cant be that difficult and for god sake don’t let it shut or I will have to pay again!! And then I hear “there’s somebody in here!!” Oh good lord let the ground open up and swallow me down. Dilemma what do I do?? I have to go!! So there I stand fishing around in my pockets on the pair of jeans that have gotten to tight for me with all the pub meals we have been having, when I hear a toilet flush – ahhh panic!! – do I run, do I stand there in the middle of the room like a scared rabbit caught in the headlights of an on coming car…..frozen to the spot! T

hank fully it turned out to be the cubicle next to the one I tried to push in on. The lady who came out must have felt sorry for me standing there trying to fish a 10p out of my pocket with a look of horror on my face of possibly being caught out as the pusher. She did a quick look around – didn’t see the attendant and beckoned me to her cubicle without shutting the door – I tell you I stayed in that cubicle  till I was absolutely certain the woman in the one next to me had gone. And the reason for the kids toilets apart from the low seats is because they don’t have to pay!!