If you could change one choice you made in your life, what would it be?

I try to live a no-regrets kind of life, so I’m struggling to think of a choice I made that I would change. Like when I was having trouble cutting it as a computer science major in college and changed my major to communications. I still ended up writing computer software in the end, so really, no regrets there. In high school I had to make the decision between focusing on attaining Eagle Scout and working on my black belt in karate. I chose Eagle Scout. That was the right decision. If I ever wanted to work on black belt again, I can. Once you are over 18, there’s no way to make Eagle Scout.

I guess the thing I sometimes feel I regret is not being more of a risk taker in my 20’s. Right after college I got a job, lived at home for more years than I cared to, and saved money. I took the responsible path that lead to me being able to afford a place to buy, albeit at the height of the housing market in 2006 (I still own the place, though it’s a rental now).

Right after college, a bunch of my friends moved out to southern California. They wanted me to come with them and rent a house. They played in a band, had odd jobs, partied and had fun. They did this for maybe 2 or 3 years before moving back to New Jersey / New York City area to get more serious jobs. Even after that, one of those friends wanted to get an apartment together in our mid-twenties. I was all ready to do that, but bailed. A lot of it was my father, who I love tremendously, but really, we are different people. I felt in my 20’s I was living the life my father wanted me to live, not the one I actually wanted. I feel bad for my youngest sister, who now well into her 30’s is still living at home with fear of doing anything that could be potentially risky. My parents, especially my father, does not like any sort of risk.

I’m not saying that I am upset with how things turned out. Things are good. I’m in my late 30’s now and I’m comfortable. Living at home helped me establish myself, save money, and not struggle in my early adult years. By the time I did move out I was making a decent living and could easily support myself.

The only real issue I had with this regret was when I was around 30. I started a job at a startup in NYC with a bunch of 20-somethings. I was already married, but enjoyed hanging out in the city after work, drinking, hoping from bar to bar, having fun with people that were doing the things I wish I did in my 20’s. The things I felt I missed out on when I was that age. It became an issue with my wife and I. At that time, we weren’t in the greatest place to begin with, and this behavior of mine just exacerbated things. We were close to divorce at one point. Eventually I got it out of my system and calmed down without too much damage to my relationship. Nothing that we couldn’t work through and fix.

It’s hard for me to really say this was a regret because my life could be terrible and a huge struggle if I decided to throw caution to the wind in my 20’s. I’m happy where I am now and I think that’s all that really matters.