Survey of the Week

Stolen from some chick who seems to have since disappeared.

1. If you could be anyone historically, who would you be, and what would you do to screw up their lives?
I’d be Hitler, and I’d command that the German army go around hugging the Jews, Gypsies, disabled people and gays.

2. If you were a book, how many pages would you have?
I downloaded my diary the other day, and it has over 1000 pages in Word. Just out of interest. So if I were a book, I think I’d need at least that many pages. OK, being scientific about this: my diary account for 3 years of my life, and I am 26 years old. Therefore, for my entire life to date, I’d obviously need 8,666 pages. Ta-da!

3. If you were insane, what type of cult would you start?
Some hippy, peaceful, earth-lovin’, girl shaggin’ cult, I imagine.

4. If you were a hurricane, what name would you like to have?
Hurricane Mary, of course. Cos the wind cries Mary.

5. If you were a trashy romance novel, what would be on your cover?
A couple of women in bodices in a field of wildflowers.

7. If you could see the future, would you send threatening letters to celebrities? If so, what would they say?
Huh. If I could see the future, I could imagine about 10,000,000,000 better things to do with my time.

8. If you had to pick a person to succeed you, who would it be? Why?
I’ve already named Mare as my Deputy Prime-Minister when I’m elected Prime-Minister of this country.

9. If we were all colors, would you glow in the dark?
A little, I imagine. Just softly.

10. If you had to pick an object to replace your hand, what would it be?
For some reason I keep thinking “spatula”, but I don’t know why.

11. If you had to sing any song in front of the masses, and sing it badly, what would it be?
“Glory, glory hallelujah! Glory, glory hallelujah! Glory, glory hallelujah! The truth is marching on!”

13. If you were an annoying song that someone couldn’t get out of their head, where would you most like them to screw up and start singing you at?
In the middle of an important job interview. Just to share the annoyance.

14. If you had to pick a day of the year as your favorite, who would you like to see publicly disgraced on it?
Ol’ Dubya, obviously. With eggs. Simple, yet effective.

15. If you were the anti-christ, where would you base of operations be located?
The North Pole. Or perhaps Sunnydale.

16. If you were a feather, what type of bird would you come from, and what would you like done with yourself?
I’d be from a kiwi, and I’d be made into a beautiful cloak.

17. If you were a razor, what famous or historical person’s would you like to shave bald?
Wow, that’s a stumper. Janel Maloney, for absolutely no good reason.

19. If you had to steal a piece of famous art work, which would you choose?
One of Frida Kahlo’s self portraits

20. If you had to bungy jump off any national landmark, which would you choose?
The Sphinx, cos how cool would that be?

21. If you had be a message in a truck stop, what would you say?
Rhinoceroses are pink.

22. if you had to steal a car, what type of person would you go out of your way to rob?
Some stupid arrogant yuppie man who speeds everywhere cos he can afford to pay the tickets. That’d wipe the smug smile off his face.

23. If you had to name a person you hate, what would you name them?
Jeremiah. Cos Jeremiah was a bullfrog… wait, the next line is “was a good friend of mine”, so that makes no sense. Gertrude Bottomley. Then I’d no longer hate them for I’d be laughing too heartily over their name.

24. If you had to marry Ghengis Khan, what would be your first concern?
Uh… do you have a sister?

25. If you had to marry Vlad the Impaler, what would be the first thing you do after meeting him?
Demand enternal life, obviously.

28. If you had to pick a place to build a new country, where would it be?
I can’t beat the last person’s answer: “The former USA”.

29. If you had to build a new country, how many people would you let in, and give me their names…..?
See, this is where it gets tricky, for I’d want a nice permissive, open, all for peace society, but I can see it quickly becoming a fascist regime: “You text your friends while you’re out at the pubs with your other friends? I’m sorry, you can’t come into my country.” “you regularly drive at 80km/h on the open road? Sorry, no room for you!”