Who thought Bran could be so good?
I’ve found a new obsession. Honey Nut All-Bran bars. I know, I know you’re probably thinking, eww gross but don’t knock them til you’ve tried them. They are really good and a good source of fibre. Only 130 calories per bar. Go ahead, try them. I dare you!
Thank you all for the kind notes on my weigh in entry. I wish I could explain in simple terms how I feel so that you will all understand. It’s easy to ask "why are you disappointed", or say "you look great", "you’ve come so far" etc. Those statements might be true but unless you’ve ever been 120+ lbs overweight you probably will never understand.
Please don’t think I’m being ungreatful because I’m not. I’m just trying to explain. I guess it’s hard for me to actually believe I’m "thin" now because for the greater part of the last 30 years I’ve been heavy. It’s not easy to change ones mindset in just 1 year.
In all honesty I am still considered overweight. I want to get to a normal HEALTHY weight which is about 130 but I want to get to 125 so I have a bit of a cushion. I’m frustrated that it’s taken me so effin long to lose 20 lbs when a year ago I’d have lost 30 lbs in the time I’m trying to lose 20 now. Make sense?
Point blank..I’m scared. Scared that if I don’t get to 125 I won’t be happy. Who knows I probably won’t be happy at 125 either but I won’t know until I get there. I’m afraid that if I give up now I will end up back at 252 lbs. I do not want to be in that body again. I like shopping for new clothes. ( I bought a new pair of capris today size 7 🙂 ).
On a side note, I hate my dad for telling me I was chubby when I was 12 and offering me money if I could lose weight. Damn him to hell. He’s a prick. He should have loved me unconditionally but that bastard probably doesn’t even have a heart big enough to love anyone else but himself.
Short term goalUltimate Goal
You are amazing. Who makes those bran bars…Ill give em a try.
Warning Comment
Dude! I totally ate one of those bars today! Holy crap! Also, this entry, I know what you’re saying. People come to my diary and tell me to get therapy for it. It’s hard to explain…having lost so much weight on the outside. It’s not like you can just lose the weight on the inside too. You’ve lost it faster than I have but I still know what you’re saying. I wonder if we’ll always be fat inside
Warning Comment
Those All Bran bars are amazing, I’m totally addicted. I bought them a couple weeks ago because I couldn’t stomach Quaker Oats again. I wish there was a way to make people like you feel accomplished and love being the size you are! Parents totally have a lot to do with weight issues and thankfully mine always encouraged me no matter what body type I was. Hang in there!
Warning Comment
ryn…Im going to try them! Thanks 🙂 Are they filling enough to be a meal, or just a snack? And, thanks for asking about my ass…Its going better….If I sit on the floor with the kids and lean on my butt bone (I didnt know there was bone under all that fat) it hurts, but I can sit down now, thats an improvement!
Warning Comment
Personally, I love All-Bran. Flushes me right out.
Warning Comment
It sounds like counseling may do you some good, honestly. I hope you don’t take offense to that. You may need help changing your inner self image, y’know?
Warning Comment
I think I understand. When people say oh you look good, you dont need to lose any more, I look in the mirror and see fat, I still see that fat girl staring back at me. True, I can see a difference, but its not enough. So I see where you are coming from. Yeah for the size 7’s. That totally rocks. I’m going to try those Honey Nut All-Bran bars, I love healthy stuff like that!
Warning Comment
i don’t see myself as thin either – whenever people tell me i look good, i can’t believe them. because i’ve been fat all my life, & because i can see all my imperfections. do i just look better than i did? rather than actually looking slim? i reckon you know where i’m coming from on this one, as i do with you. i want to get down to 126, which leaves me with 9 pounds & i worry it won’t be enough.
Warning Comment
I saw them at the store today…I was groccery shopping at work..Im going to get them when I do my groccery shopping and give em a try!
Warning Comment
Dammit, I wish I didn’t understand this entry so well. But I do.
Warning Comment