09/08/2013

On February 4, 2009, roughly a month after Bethany and I started talking, she wrote this to me (taken from The Little Prince):

"To me,your are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys.And i have no need of you.And you,on your part,have no need of me.To you,I’m nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.But if you tame me,then we shall need each other.To me,you will be unique in all the world.To you,I shall be unique in all the world…"

The little prince asked "What does it mean-‘tame’ ?"

"It’s an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish Ties"

I’ve spent the past two days reading all the entries I wrote with her around. Four and a half years’ worth. I wrote a lot of poetry. I clearly learned so much from her it’s staggering and astounding. Yet even now I come full circle, back to the beginning, and read some of the first things she wrote to me, and I realize she wanted me to tame her, while simultaneously allowing her the freedom she needed with her triggers, her defenses, her self-serving strengths.

I would have tamed her. I thought I had. But the Ties were not enough.

You failed me, Little Prince.