Winston, Brothers and Husbands

I have a brother who is 5 years older than me. He was my very best friend until he moved away and never really came back. He was 21 and I was 16. He was at the University of Oklahoma, met his wife, got married, had 2 daughters and a great job but he was transferred to different states a lot, mostly in the South. Every few years his family would come to California to visit. As much as I missed my brother and our relationship, I knew exactly why he moved away. I was waiting out my time to get out of our parents’ house also. We had an extremely strict, often un-feeling…bordering on plain ol’ mean mother, who occasionally was nice……and a workaholic nice father, who wasn’t home very much. It wasn’t altogether Horrible, nor are we left “traumatized” by it.  It just what it was and we needed to change it.

The internet was the best thing for us. Email made it so much easier to communicate……or just relate. My brother tends to act like what we once called “a typical man.”  If there’s emotion involved, he’ll cover w/jokes, or change the subject. He’s also become obsessed with politics……seems to be his “hobby.” Once we established the fact that I was up to date about politics, had opinions and interested in the subject, he began sending emails. Sometimes he sends 25 in one day.

I just let him think I’m as interested as he is. I don’t read half of them….or I already know about this or that. But often when I reply to his emails, I’ll add a personal note….usually with some questions so he feels he should reply back……and not about the subject of his email. So it’s not the relationship we once had (Me & Him Against the World) but it’s a whole lot better than nothing. Every few years, we fly to Florida to visit w/him and his wife. Then when together, we are back to being the best Buds forever. So everyday I go thru all his emails and answer some……delete a lot……..because it’s what I’ve got of him and I’ll take it.

Tonight he sent me a bunch of sayings from Winston Churchill and I replied to him at great length. I always liked Winston…..even when he wasn’t as popular.
One of my my favorite things to remember was going to the Churchill estate outside London, many years ago.
I had a really good friend who was married to a man from London. They once went to visit his brother and wife there…… who took them to see Churchill’s estate tour. When she told me about it, I was so intrigued and years later when my husband surprised me w/a week in London, we saw it.

My husband had remembered how I talked about it and how I had been taking oil painting lessons. He had arranged for a car/driver even…..took about an hour to get there…..all through gorgeous countryside. The tour was fantastic and I loved every bit of it……esp the half of a cigar in the ashtray near his painting easel in his studio. (wonder how they dust that??) So many of his paintings hung on the wall. And definitely a Feeling of Something……..And as wonderful as seeing this estate, it wasn’t even the Best Surprise my husband had for me. He also arranged for a helicopter ride over England. Wow! It was probably the best and favorite adventure I’ve ever had. I always talk about coming back as a helicopter pilot in my next life.  And I have no idea why. We had the sweetest cutest Scottish pilot w/amazing bright blue eyes and a constant smile. I sat up front with him, soon we were having a great time, probably flirting a little, while my poor husband was behind us. It was truly spectacular on a beautiful sunny day. Stonehenge looked like a bunch of pebbles and the pig farm next to it had more pigs than I’ve ever seen!

So there are times when my husband and I go thru not-so-great times in our 30 years……and times like now, where everything is just great……and when he does some dumb thing, I really try to remember that this is still the guy who took me on the best excursions ever……without being asked to do it!!!