Post-Cardiologist Appointment

Feeling better finally re sinus infection.
sheesh! that was awful but glad it’s gone.

Had my 6 month cardiologist visit today. I don’t have to go for another year, which is definitely a good sign.
The doctor explained things to me that I never knew before. I still have a tiny leak in mitral valve but the rest of heart is back to normal.
Blood pressure was up a little so he’s keeping me on these 2 meds to continue
the healing process. He explained that BP can rise while heart is busy building itself back up.
These two meds are miracle drugs, he said. They have kept a lot of people from having to have transplants.

He kept making remarks about how bad it was for me, how hard, etc. and I finally asked him what the heck he was talking about. So I got told the truth like I didn’t know before.

Seems only 30% people who get heart virus: coxsakie B, survive. (!!!!!! holy crap!!! – I didn’t know that!!!) Most docs don’t have much hope for them when they see this. I guess part of me knew it wasn’t good since my kidneys and liver were shutting down at one point while in the hospital but don’t think I really processed that. I’m so used to being well and feeling good that I always put off seeing a doctor because I’m so sure I’ll heal in no time.

Apparently many, many hearts don’t recover, & die or need transplants, or recover only some and need other things!!! sheesh!!! Glad I didn’t know this. All I remember was being in that hosp bed, with lots of nice nurses and staff, lots of poking to find veins to get my blood, and then the pain of the MRSA staph infection.
Now that I think about it, here I am with a major heart problem and then I get THE major staph infection. Guess I was a lot sicker than I ever thought. Talk about a lot of luck or maybe definitely not my time to go!!

He also told me that my life style was not the best to keep a healthy heart. Not the things you would think like not exercising, eating too much sugar, etc but the fact that I always put myself at the bottom of the list. He said at this age, it’s time to live for yourself. We only have so much time and it’s NOW that we have, not someday.
And when you are not living the way you should/want, the stress builds up and your immune system goes down. When you’re doing well, heart viruses have a hard time settling into the heart.

I hear what he’s saying and I know it was true. But I don’t know how I could have done things differently, with helping my elderly parents in those final last years and then losing David and then Terry’s major surgery. Although I do know that if I don’t rest, my body makes me, by getting sick. I have a feeling that’s why this sinus infect came about.

At least I can say that I came to this conclusion recently on my own. I decided that I would no longer put my art classes at the bottom of the list and everyone else’s needs ahead. It’s the best part of my week and it’s my time. So that’s why I have been going 2 times a week for awhile. I’ve also allowed myself to take naps more in the recent past, formally unheard of for me. So I intend to make this a priority from now on.

It won’t be easy to go against the way you’ve done things for such a long time. But inside I know this to be true. Some things you can’t avoid like the recent passing of my mother in law but if I keep the rest of my life the way it should, I’ll be able to handle those occasions.

When the doctor told all this to me, tears started to well up and I felt really emotional. As usual, I’m thinking how devastating it would be for my daughter and Terry. I never want to be someone that causes them pain and yet, when you really think about it, that’s what happens if you’re not careful. I think my daughter can handle her 90 year old mother dying a lot better than dying now.

Anyway, here’s to a new self-involved me!! Will be a big change for me but I’m going to do it. The important things to me now are being with those I love, my art, my dogs, my wonderful beautiful home. I’ve got it all right now so I better take the time to enjoy it. And really, when you think about it, this is the easiest and nicest homework I’ve ever had to do.