Nightime of the 4th of July

I finished taking all the antibiotics I was prescribed. Got better for awhile but still continues to give me a lot of pain, which comes and goes. This week it felt like I was dealing with a bad cold, coughing, nose blowing, etc. but this achy sharp constant pain is driving me nuts. Maybe I need more antibiotics? I’ll make a call on Tuesday to the doctor but am hoping maybe it’ll just magically disappear. Of course, as usual, taking antibiotics results in me taking lots of probiotics because if I don’t those nasty yeast infections will appear.

Had funeral services for my mother in law on Wednesday with a reception at my in-laws house afterwards. All went well and I didn’t need the tissues I had brought. The fact that she is no longer suffering, locked into a prison of a body probably helps the sadness. We were extremely touched by how many of our friends came and not because they knew her but because they were there for us. That in itself made me get out those tissues.

I expected my father in law to be much more distraught than he has been, due to how long they were married and how much he loved her. But it finally dawned on me that his wife hasn’t been there for many years now. There was no personality for a couple years now so I think he had adjusted to her not being there. She had just become an entity that had to be taken care of.
He had made plans to stay very busy that first week, even planning on staying at our house for a couple of days but then changed his mind. I think he found he wasn’t feeling as lost and alone as he thought he would. We’ve all taken turns at having him for dinner or going places. We spent Friday at a lovely garden, library and art gallery, close to home. At 84, he wears out pretty quickly and with my aches and pains, I was glad to go home earlier than we thought.

Later we had dinner at our friends’ house, celebrating the beloved twins’ fourth birthday. I cannot believe it’s been 4 years since I started helping their mom with her brand new preemies.
Saturday was their official party, which I attended but left early. Party animal Terry stayed late after I assured him that there was nothing he could do for me and if I needed him, I’d call. When not feeling well, I do better alone.

Today, the 4th, we had another party to go to. This time I lasted a lot longer but we did leave before the fireworks. I go to these events because I figure I can be miserable there, with people and have some distraction or stay home and be miserable.
Have another party to attend tomorrow but am unsure if we’re going or not. Party animal wants to but I’m missing my beloved home and sanctuary.

I always thought retired people had lots of time on their hands….long blissful days of doing nothing but whatever you choose to do. I’m wondering when I’ll become one of those people. Seems like every day is full and there’s never enough hours to get everything done. Right now, laid out on the dining room table is my new canvas, ready with the grid and with a partial drawing of the next Kincaidesque painting. Normally my pre-sketches are minimal but when the subject matter has straight lines, angles, etc a grid is important to keep perspective. I’m enjoying this process and want nothing more than to just sit there for awhile and draw and draw until I’m ready to start the painting process. I find that oil painting is not for the impatient, which I truly am.

Besides the drawing involved, oil painting is a matter of many, many layers of paint before you achieve the results you want. It’s a good lesson for me, a difficult lesson but still good for me who wants everything done yesterday. And I still need to unpack about 5 more boxes of painting “stuff” and get my rooms organized. The one room I took to be my studio, because it was once a laundry room and has a sink and built in shelves, also has a built in desk for my computer. I thought it work out perfectly but that didn’t happen. This room is dark with very little light coming in.
At the end of the hall is what is called the “maid’s room,” next to what is called the “maid’s bathroom,” and since there’s no maid, they were pretty much empty & I’m as close to being a maid as anyone else here.

It’s just a tiny little room but has fantastic gorgeous light coming thru the two big windows. So I’m going to organize these 2 rooms into one that has all the supplies and all the canvasses, finished or new and the little room will be where I actually paint. I don’t feel badly taking 2 rooms because Terry already has 2 rooms. One is his office and the other is what I call the Bear Cave and both rooms are huge. In the cave is the giant flat screen, big old soft comfy sofas/chairs and everything else possible that relates to polar bears, including a 4 ft standing bear. Terry is a 10th degree black belt, named the Ice Bear so thus the bears. I’m quite happy he has this room so all these bears stay in there. We had some “discussions” about how these bears started infiltrating the rooms where they didn’t belong at the old house. He can now have wall to wall bears here as far as I’m concerned.

That pretty much covers this last week. Would like to think that next week will be free and easy but the calendar is already full with appointments and other “must-dos.” I try to remember that I’m glad I’m still alive to be so busy. Plenty of time to do nothing after we die.