Homework

I just made a pact with myself the other day….to not say/mention, etc that I’m old. That includes words like decrepit, antique, ancient, etc.

Why am I constantly referring to myself this way? Why do I need to think I have to point out the obvious? Surely, if I look old, others can see this for themselves.

Now my silly superficial little contest with myself is pretty darn trivial but apparently, this aging thing is definitely troubling me more than I had anticipated and I need to do some work on it.
I don’t think it’s just about looks, or my physical abilities. I think it also points out to me that my priorities are a little mixed up and needs work. I’ve always tried to learn, grow and not stay stuck in staying the same so here I go again.

I know enough that security in yourself, your self-confidence can overpower anything you say or look like. Now I have to put that knowledge into action.
I’m pretty sure the roots of this are way back to when I was a child but you’d think I’d learned enough by now to not have to deal with that old baggage anymore. Apparently, not.

So far, I’ve only slipped up once in two days, although the many times I caught myself almost saying it surprised me. I think I’ve come to this because all those little “whispers” that Oprah mentioned are getting louder and louder. Things people have said as “throw away words” are making an impression on me about how often I must say it…much more than I ever thought.

I’m not a huge Oprah fan but I could find a lot to like about her. I always enjoyed watching/listening to her quest to live a better life and grow spiritually.

• “I say the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. And a whisper in your life usually feels like ‘hmm, that’s odd.’ Or, ‘hmm, that doesn’t make any sense.’ Or, ‘hmm, is that right?’ It’s that subtle. And if you don’t pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. I say it’s like getting thumped upside the head. If you don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that-the brick wall falls down. That is the pattern that I see in my life and so many other people’s lives. And so, I ask people, ‘What are the whispers? What’s whispering to you now?'”