Happy

I wake up each day, feeling a little happier, mostly with anticipation. Summer, and its long, long hot days and nights is coming to an end. Air conditioning is extremely helpful but I love open windows and fresh breezes. I do remember loving summer as a kid but it’s been a long time since I ‘ve felt that way. Here, in So Cal, it’s difficult to tell when seasons start/stop. And it just never seems right to be hot and wearing shorts and a tee shirt in November or December…….but happens more often than I’d like. 

Of course, by April, I’m tired of sweaters and sweats.

Or maybe I’m becoming a cranky old lady……anything’s possible, I suppose.

I realize the concept of not liking Good Ol’ Summertime may be unusual and strange but Seasons give you “Change” and I love Change…….well, a little Change…….here and there.

Sometimes I can appreciate Big Change but that can also be scary…..and I usually can’t see their value until long afterwards, when we get to say: “see, it all worked out for the best!”  

As petty as it seems, I get tired of wearing shorts all day. Yes, I’m aware that it’s extremely possible that I may be too old to wear shorts, according to society’s mores, but I’d rather feel cool, and, rebelliously, think, “ if you don’t like the way my old legs look in shorts, you can just turn your head”. 

Not that anyone was turning their head in the first place …… not anymore.

I don’t mind admitting That Change took me awhile to get used to. I don’t think I really appreciated, nor was aware of the amount of attention I had previously received…..…..for nothing more than for purely being a young pretty girl…..or later, a very attractive woman.

Right now, I’m assuming I fit in the category of what they call: “I bet she was really good looking when she was young”. 

I find the whole concept fascinating in a human study-type of way……and glad that it doesn’t trouble me as much as I would have thought. It’s more like another example of we never really appreciate what we have, when we have it. And sometimes, we realize we were far more vain (vainer?) than we thought we were.

In the last few weeks, instead of thinking about the heat or how I look, I’ve been focused on working my way thru a bout of Shingles. I think the worst is over and it’s downhill from here. This has not been fun at all.

First, it was difficult to get diagnosed. My symptoms didn’t follow the predicted way. I had hives/rash that was pretty extensive……then, soon, even more hives, covering a larger area than expected. I was sure I had positively identified it to be Shingles…….(thank you, Google)…….but the first doctor said it was Contact Dermatitis ……..but what could have touched only my neck, shoulder and half my chest??

 And on only one side?

And no pain…….yet.

And three years ago, I got the vaccine to prevent Shingles……I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that the vaccine only prevented approx. 60% of those who received it.

That’s always The Other Guy.

Since the rash was becoming very fire-y looking, painful, starting to blister, and the RX cream to clear up Contact Dermatitis wasn’t working, I saw a Dermatologist that finally confirmed Shingles.

I’m past the worst part, still have pain from the nerves under the area of the rash, but no longer feel like I’m being stabbed periodically in the side of my brain with a hot knife. I usually feel good until evening, and the night is the worst. Continue to have trouble sleeping thru the night, being awakened by pain. But not it’s not every night anymore….so that’s a good sign.

I’m so very happy to be writing this now. I never really considered myself a person who “journaled” but many years ago (15+?) I discovered Open Diary.

Not only was I able to preserve my thoughts/feelings at the time…….I also made some lovely friends.

I’m so grateful that The Diary Master (and Mistress) decided to bring it back. 

So now starts the rest of my life on a New/Improved Open Diary.